As a Patriots fan, I actually don’t have any problem with Mike Felger and Jim Murray calling and all my like-minded, hard-working, decent, appreciative and exceptionally loyal Patriots fans “cunty.”
By way of full disclosure, Felger has helped me out in the past. He’s an old school Barstool supporter from the newspaper days. He’s had me on his show. Gotten me a TV gig on the Patriots pre- and postgame show with him that I and like 20 other guys have been fired from because it’s the Defense Against the Dark Arts job of regional sports cable networks. And I hung out with Murray at the White House. When that team I and all the other cunts care about was celebrating their fifth Super Bowl. So while that has never been my choice of words, I have no issue with them telling us how they really feel.
Besides, if I’ve learned anything in my time hanging around with capital-J journalists in radio, TV and print, it’s that one of the hallmarks of being successful in the Boston sports media is to have utter contempt for your audience in general. To see them as detestable, slack-jawed morons who aren’t worthy the wisdom of your vastly superior opinions. And to despise Patriots fans in particular with the white hot intensity of a thousand pizza ovens.
Plus, as the lawyers say, truth is a defense against libel.
If “cunty” means Patriots fans understand we are witness to an unimaginable run of success that by all logic is not possible under NFL rules? Then we are cunty.
If “cunty” means we appreciate the owner who has treated us to 19 years of sustained excellence when 25 years ago it was announced the NFL was leaving New England for St. Louis and never coming back? Then we are cunty.
If “cunty” means turning the most accomplished GM/coach of modern times into a demigod while the media and the rest of the country was vilifying him as an arrogant, miserable, spiteful little cheater who treats everybody like garbage when he’s not knowingly drafting murderers? Then we are cunty.
If “cunty” means defending a quarterback who came from nothing to turn himself into the most accomplished athlete of our lifetimes – the 199th pick who was drafted behind a literal goat herder but became the GOAT – all the while being despised across the country as a whining, ball-tampering, evidence-hiding, product of a “system” who’s career has been ending for 10 years now by bitter, resentful flat-Earthers who couldn’t get a passing grade on middle school Science Fair project and think all his success comes out of needles? The air or the hypodermic kind? Then we are cunty.
And lastly, if “cunty” means being loyal to a franchise that has brought us all this success while joyless, self-important, bitter wretches across the landscape have tried to diminish all their accomplishments, calling them the product of luck and cheating and “tomato cans,” excusing away the other franchises failure to match their accomplishments, even as the NFL has changed rules to stop them, taken away draft picks to stop them and suspended core players over nothing to try and stop them? And which at every single turn has been doubted and second-guessed by the self-righteous know-it-alls who hate them and us? Then yes, we are cunty. You bet your cunt we’re the cuntiest cunts who ever cunted. Even if it ruins their Patriots experience.
And I for one have never been prouder of my cuntiness. I have no intention of giving up my cuntiness. Keep hating. These cunts and I will keep Defending This Cunty Wall.