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"The Hanging Column of Dick"

I wrote a blog a couple of weeks back outlining trends in yoga pants on the eve of LULU reporting their quarterly earnings.

For those who care to revisit that highbrow piece of literary perfection, here’s the link…

The young ladies in that piece fell victim to one of the only fundamental flaws within that fashion choice- The tendency for yoga pants to get see-through as the fabric either wears out or they are hit with brilliant flashes of light.

By the end of that blog, we concluded the best way to avoid this flaw is to wear solid light colors…


Today’s equally intellectual blog is not about a fundamental flaw within the fabric of the pant, but a momentary lapse of reason from the fashion designer who designed the pants themselves.

For example:


The Leaning Tower of Pisa quickly turns into The Hanging Column of Dick, depending on where you place the image.

Do you see what I am shooting at here?… Because I have a bunch of them, and they all contain accidental genitals.


Do these pants have a heart on them?… Or are they hard on pants?

This one was made just for Irish guys (allegedly)…


And this next one just wasn’t an accident at all…


Actually surprised a young J-Lo would wear them.

And before you send nasty emails to Dave and Erika saying, “Large only posted pictures of inadvertent dicks, and I don’t identify as someone who enjoys yoga dicks… Where’re all the vaginas?”

This poor lady turned Burger Monday into Taco Tuesday…


This broad got a lip print that resembles a lips print.


One Santa is playfully waving at us from within this woman’s womb, whilst another has a fist deep in her ass  …


Do you ever wonder what a dog’s ears smell like?


Probably better than a tiger’s breath…


And finally, the pattern on this woman’s pants resulted in a landscape where two flamingo necks formed what eerily resembles a vaginal opening being sniffed at on either side by 2 curious zebras*.


I believe Adam Levine has a similar jungle scene tattooed across his back.



Yeah. We all did, sweetheart… Fucking relax.

Take a report.


*Not sure why I remember this, but a group of zebras is called either a “zeal” or a “dazzle”… You’re welcome.