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I Can't Stop Listening To The Blue Jays' Munenori Kawasaki's Scientific Explanation For Beating Cramps

Water, pickle juice, Pedialyte. All are second to the almighty banana now when battling cramps. Why? Because “Monkey Never Cramps.” That’s fucking why. There may be no scientific reasoning to back up that claim whatsoever and I’m fairly certain all monkeys don’t eat bananas on a regular basis, but it doesn’t matter. Saki almost makes sense and his .231 lifetime batting average don’t lie. Potassium FTW.

How many certified assholes are going to comment saying “Not true, LeBron cramped up during the finals!”? If you’re going to be racist, at least be original.