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Barstool’s Official Not-Unsanctioned USMNT vs Costa Rica Preview

Sam’s Soccer Safe Space for Stoolies


Hi haters,

For those that missed it, the USMNT came up with a solid 3-0 win over Panama on Sunday.


The positives:
– We won
– Berhalter era got started off on the right foot
– A couple kids – notably Nick Lima and Djordjie Mihailovic – played well

The negatives:
– Panama sucks
– USSF played the game in a 60,000-seat stadium but priced tickets way to high so there was only a couple thousand fans. Horrible look.

But we are on to Cincinnati – or more specifically Costa Rica, which will present a sterner test. So let’s take a quick peek under the hood.



Gregg Berhalter’s second starting XI is here and you will notice it is a LOT like the XI from last weekend:


In fact the only two changes are Trapp in for Bradley and Arriola in for Ebobisse.

Other rapid reactions:

GK: Steffen didn’t have a damn thing to do against Panama. Probably will today.

Defense: Interested to see Long and Zimmerman paired at the CB spots. I said the same thing last game but Panama brought nothing to the table. Lima had a great first game, Lovitz less so.

Midfield: Bradley and Trapp…. Trapp and Bradley. People are going to be upset no matter who plays but one of them pretty much has to given who was called into this camp. For what it is worth, Bradley actually had a pretty good game against Panama. (Reminder: it was Panama.) Hopefully neither of these guys are playing serious minutes once we have the likes of Adams and McKennie available but we will cross that bridge when we get there. Mihailovic scored and looked good last game, and it would be good to see more of that. Baird was active as hell – more please. Roldan needs to make better decisions and Zardes… well, he’s Zardes. Arriola brings experience but I would like to see guys like Lletget get some run.

Striker: Berhalter may try to say that Zardes is the striker but for me we don’t have one on the field, which is an interesting decision.



Costa Rica is better than Panama but this, again, is a pretty inexperienced team. Lots of MLS and USL guys will be out there. Winning versus losing isn’t all that important, in fact I’d rather lose with a handful of guys looking damn good rather than pulling out an ugly 1-0 win. But as it is we should be better than this Ticos team. USMNT to win 2-1.


So there we have it. A glorified reminder that there is a game to watch this afternoon masquerading as a preview. GO AMERICA!

Samuel Army