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Half-Naked Woman Arrested For Masturbating In Public Kept The Party Going In The Backseat Of The Cop Car

NYP- A half-naked woman was arrested after being caught masturbating in public in Austin, Texas — then allegedly continued pleasuring herself while handcuffed in a police car. Police responded to a complaint from the JW Marriott Austin Hotel about 5:20 p.m. Tuesday about a woman across the street “holding a silver object” against her privates “with her legs straight up in the air, spread open,” according to the arrest affidavit. A hotel worker said he could hear the woman — identified by authorities as Dovie Nickels, 26 — “making moaning noises,” the affidavit reads. The worker saw the woman masturbating on the patio for about seven or eight minutes, the Austin American-Statesman reported.

The worker said the woman told him to back off as he approached her to tell her to stop. She then went to the Second Bar + Kitchen across the street –where the lewd behavior allegedly continued, the outlet reported.

Ain’t no party like a masturbation because a masturbation party don’t stop! Meek Mill once said, “Locked my body up but my soul free” and that fits here too. They tried to lock this lady up but she had at least a couple fingers free and kept the party going. Don’t you dare try to stop that lady from masturbating. They can arrest her, they can lock her body down and put her in handcuffs but they WILL NOT stop her from pleasuring herself. Her mug shot is perfect by the way. If I gave you one guess as to what that lady got arrested for you would’ve instantly said, “Oh she definitely masturbated in public and then wouldn’t be denied even after they tossed her in the back of a cruiser. Easy.”

Low key the funniest part of the story

A hotel worker said he could hear the woman — identified by authorities as Dovie Nickels, 26 — “making moaning noises,” the affidavit reads. The worker saw the woman masturbating on the patio for about seven or eight minutes

He watched her for 7 to 8 MINUTES. Not seconds. Minutes. That’s 420-480 seconds. That’s by far the funniest and realest part of the story. I can just picture the hotel worker out there watching the woman fingering herself on the patio being like, “Man I should really do something about this. I realllllllllllllllllly should do something about this. This is crazy. This is a travesty. I’m gonna do something. I’m gonna call the police. I swear to god I’m gonna” and then standing there for another few minutes. 7 to 8 minutes is an eternity. That guy waited a full eternity and finally was like, “Hey cut that out!” When was the last time you did anything for 7 to 8 minutes that wasn’t eating or sleeping? It’s just a tremendously long amount of time to do anything.