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Why I Am *ALL IN* On The Rams As Super Bowl LIII Champs – And You Should Be Too

Sam’s Safe Space For Soccer (and Sometimes Non-Soccer) Stoolies

Hi Haters™,

I normally stick to writing about more manly sports but after hearing nothing but how great the Patriots are, and how much the franchise is being disrespected yadda yadda yadda from seemingly everybody here at Barstool, I could hold my tongue no longer.

Make no mistake. This is not an anti-Patriots blog. Their team is consistently great. Their fanbase is always rabid. They win a lot. This is all true, congratulations, I’m real happy for you.

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You want to talk about disrespect though? How about the fact that nobody outside of (I assume) southern California is talking about the best most exciting team still standing in the NFL playoffs, and even fewer people are apparently rooting for them to win this weekend. Now that, my friends, is disrespect.

Dente is sad that nobody is chirping him from the Rams camp.

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Okay buddy boy, no need to be sad any longer because for the next four days I am hereby anointing myself Barstool’s officially unsanctioned #1 LA Rams fan – and inviting anybody and everybody who doesn’t already have a rooting interest to join me in supporting this great organization on their quest for Super Bowl glory.

Why would I do such a thing that is so brave yet so controversial? Why would someone jump on the Rams bandwagon??

More like why would someone NOT jump on the Rams bandwagon?!

Likeable young super stars fighting to make names for themselves? CHECK.

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Drippin jerseys? CHECK.

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Up-tempo style in which they score a million points? CHECK.

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If you’re American you flippin love points – you just do.

BUT HOLD UP.

The funny thing is that my temporary love for the Rams actually has nothing to do with any of that. Nope, the reason that I am all in on this team boils down to one thing and one thing only: Stan Kroenke deserves to lift the Lombardi Trophy.

Why am I a Stan stan? Great question. Silent Stan is too humble to do interviews so not many people know much about him. But lemme tell you a little bit about the guy.

Stan Kroenke grew up in the backwoods of Missouri in what I assume was probably a log cabin that may or may not have had running water and/or indoor plumbing. While everybody else was going off on vacations to Florida or Mexico, or overnight soccer camps, what was Kroenke doing? He was sweeping floors at his daddy’s lumber yard to help make ends meet, taking over running the company’s financials as a 10-year-old, then eventually turning to real estate where he built a multi-billion dollar real estate development firm from scratch.

Look up “AMERICAN DREAM” in the dictionary and you will find Stan Kroenke and that sexy ass mustache smiling back at you.

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As if that’s not enough, just look at the job he has done with the Rams. He has gone about building a winner the right way – the old fashioned way. Kroenke and his team did the legwork to identify young talent and threw big money contracts their way. He has made damn sure no expense was spared turning this Rams team into a winner. A lot of people like to do a lot of hating, but I suggest we instead take a step back and do a little more appreciating. After all, that right there is precisely the kind of owner every fan would want for their team, is it not?

Now, before I get too carried away, while I do think that as a rule everybody SHOULD be rooting for the Rams this weekend, I will acknowledge that there are some notable exceptions.

Notably the good people of St Louis, who may be rooting for some sort of natural disaster – I wouldn’t begrudge you guys that.

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Also, here in the soccer universe, I’d understand it if fans of the Rapids were a little unhappy with the state of affairs in Colorado.

However, everybody else – literally everybody else in the entire world from New York to Chicago to Tokyo to Riyadh to North London – I implore you: come one, come all and join me in rooting on Sunday not just for the Rams – but more importantly for Stan Kroenke, one of the greatest (if misunderstood) owners in all of sports.

He is too humble to say so himself but Kroenke has worked too damn hard, and swept too many damn floors to not deserve this title.

LET’S GO RAMS… LET’S HECKIN DO THIS… DO IT FOR STAN THE MAN, GOT DAMIT!

8-philly2

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So there we have it. I’ll be back with another edition of Barstool’s weekend soccer preview tomorrow. Stay warm, kids!


Holler,
Samuel Army