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Another American Tradition Dies as the Feds Crack Down on Super Bowl Prostitution

Super Bowl prostitution

SourceOver 30 people have been arrested on sex-trafficking charges during a planned operation in the lead-up to the Superbowl.

Federal law enforcement officials announced Wednesday they have arrested 33 people in metro Atlanta for sex trafficking.

Authorities said they had also rescued four victims as part of the operation, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

Campaigners have warned that large sporting events such as the Super Bowl are attractive to those in the sex trafficking trade. …

Homeland Security assisted in a joint operation in Douglas County using undercover officers, social media sites and local hotel rooms on January 23 and 24, the Douglasville Police Department said.

Sixteen people were arrested, according to police, and the youngest person involved was 17.

The timing of the crackdown was related to the Super Bowl, police said.

First of all, my best wishes for a safe and problem-free Super Bowl week to all my Barstool colleagues who are down in Atlanta. I’m not saying they’re the sorts of people who would get in trouble for soliciting prostitutes in the middle of a widespread Department of Homeland Security crackdown. But I’m not saying their not those sorts of people, either. It’s a big contingent down there. You’re hundreds of miles away from home, wives and girlfriends. In the heart of America’s annual traveling Eyes Wide Shut masked orgy. Nobody cares what anyone else is doing. All it takes is one guy with disposable income in one pocket and a disposable erection in the other to make a wrong choice in a moment of weakness and make the whole company look bad.

Again, I’m not accusing. Personally I wouldn’t pick up a hooker. Not just because I only have eyes for my darling Irish Rose. But also for the same reason I try not to touch public door handles, only to the power of 10 million. Especially not at a major event like the Super Bowl. Which like … the … Super Bowl of prostitution. (Sorry, no other simile came to mind and I had to finish the thought, though it is literally true.) Besides, I was sent to one Super Bowl in my life, by the radio station. In Phoenix. And here is where they put me up. I am not joking.

Motel

Thanks for the Free Local Calls. but I wouldn’t bring a self-respecting prostitute to one of the places Jesse Pinkman almost OD’ed.

But back to the crackdown. I appreciate that the whole paradigm of prostitution has shifted in the last few generations.  I mean, just look at movies. We’ve gone from “Hooker with a Heart of Gold Who’s a Friend to the Cowboy” in every Western to “No-Nonsense Sex Worker Doing What She Wants With Her Own Body Who Knows What’s Happening on the Streets” in every cop drama to “Liam Neeson’s Kidnapped Daughter” in Taken. So the feds aren’t wrong to hold this crackdown.

It’s just that, if they’re successful,  a part of me will mourn the loss of one of my favorite traditions of this time of year:

The Super Bowl Hooker Story.

Whether it’s Eugene Robinson of the Falcons in Miami, 1998, accepting a Man of the Year Award on the Friday before the game, on Saturday leaving his wife and kids by the hotel pool because he “had to take care of something,” only to get popped on South Beach by an undercover cop for trying to by a blowie, or Warren Sapp

… fighting with two hookers over the $600 he paid them, The Super Bowl Hooker Story is as big a part of the game as the halftime show and cute animal commercials. But sadly it seems, federal law enforcement is making them a thing of the past. Unless somebody famous or that I work with gets popped before it’s too late.

On second thought, fellas? Don’t be careful. If you could take one for the team, just for the sake of the pageviews it’d provide, I’d be greatly appreciative.