Timehop Is Misery Porn And You Need To Delete It

I’m addicted to “streaks”. I know they’re just a ploy used by apps to get you to check it every day, but I don’t care. I have a 1185 day snapchat streak with my best friend (every day for a little over three years), and my Timehop streak is 569 days, which is checking it every single day for over a year.

(happy birthday Big Cat and Riggs^)

Every day I wake up and I check my Timehop to see what wacky things past me was getting up to, and every day I see something that reminds me of good times with people I don’t talk to any more, or bad times with people I still talk to. It’s actually worse than just tweets and pictures, it’s that I remember everything that happened in my life surrounding those tweets/pictures. I have a weirdly good memory– if you can tell me what my outfit was, I can tell you anything about a specific night out. So when I see a picture I took 3 years ago and I’m wearing a grey bodysuit with a white lace bralette and ripped jeans, I think oh cool, that was the night I hung out with my ex until 7:00 in the morning then took a bright green Uber home and the driver said “looks like you had a fun night” when I got in the car to which I replied by bursting into tears.

In some situations I’m glad that I am able to remember stuff, but that one for example? I could live without reliving that. But like I’ve said before, I really like being sad, so I still check it every. single. day. That can’t be healthy. It’s like I’m addicted to feeling miserable!

I’m sure there’s some assholes out there who are going to be like “it only bothers you because you still care about your ex” and maybe there’s some truth to that, but not really. Seeing a happy memory with someone you used to care about can hurt more than seeing a bad memory, because it’s impossible not to compare it to how your life is now. I have a great job and good friends, but I don’t have a guy in my life right now. That’s a good thing, I shouldn’t be with anyone right now, but it’s human nature to want that when you see how happy you used to be in a relationship. That can mess with your head.

So, for your own sake, you gotta delete that shit. Nothing good can come of you wallowing in past memories. Now, to be clear, I am an addict so I will not be deleting it, but learn from me. Learn from my mistakes. Be better than I am. I want a better life for you even if I will never have it myself. God, I’m so selfless. Anyways, I’m off to check out an old tweet of mine and then get into my own head thinking I used to be funnier 2 years ago. Have a great day!!