I Live In An Apartment From Hell

My apartment is like living in hell. It is the worst place on planet earth and I have had enough of it. I moved to NYC about 4 months ago and this shit hole has given me nothing but problems. Every week it is something new.

Moving to NYC has been great so far. Great bars, great food, I’m meeting some really cool/interesting people but one thing that has been an absolute nightmare has been this apartment that I live in. First, it was the mice. I expected mice, it’s New York City. I heard there are more mice than people in this city. But for the little fucker to run right over my room mid podcast? That crossed a line.

So I have been at war with the mice for a couple months now. I hear the little bastards, I just can’t always see them. I caught one of their brothers the other day and I left him in the trap for the entire day so his entire family could see who they fucked with (he was already dead).

Next, the walls can’t hold shit. I have this giant 6ft mirror hanging from my wall. My roommate said it would make the room look bigger (it didn’t) but the other day it just fell off the wall. It’s about 9 am, I’m sitting on the couch getting ready for work and boom. I have a giant glass mirror all up in my shit because the walls are weaker than a nerdy middle schooler.

When I got home from work that day, I put my jacket where we hang our jackets, and that wall mount completely fell off. I hope you didn’t think I picked it up, because I didn’t.

Then to put the cherry on top, I go to get into bed last night and my bed is soaked. I’m talking drenched. My blankets, sheets, mattress pad, pillows and mattress all soaked in this weird yellowish brown color.

So I called my super who returned to tell me that the brown/yellow liquid dripping all over my bed and from my ceiling is from the asshole upstairs who clogged his toilet, then let it overflow.

So now my bedroom (where I record Spittin’ Chiclets) is filled with shit, piss and mice. This would never happen in Boston.