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Our Great Country Deserves Better "National Fugitives" Than This Absolute Moron

AVON, Colo. — A nationally wanted fugitive was arrested in Avon after turning to social media when his car broke down along Vail Pass in Summit County earlier this week.

Bryan Sohn, 28, was wanted on multiple felony warrants for failure to comply on burglary charges, according to the Eagle County Sheriff’s Office.

When Sohn’s 1995 Volkswagen broke down on Vail Pass Monday, he turned to a local group’s Facebook page for help – even leaving his phone number.

An exchange on the Facebook post then led to a warning from the Summit County Sheriff’s Office not to pick him up. Instead, the Sheriff’s Office offered up another number in an attempt to get Sohn to turn himself in.

The Avon Police Department later got word from Colorado State Patrol that Sohn’s vehicle was being towed to a home in Avon, a Facebook post from the agency says.

Avon officers and deputies with the Eagle County Sheriff’s Office approached Sohn as he came out of the residence to pay the tow company driver, according to the post. Sohn tried to give a false name, but with the help of a field fingerprint scanner, officers were able to confirm his identity, the post says.

Sohn was arrested for the outstanding warrants and booked at the Eagle County Detention Facility.

Are you kidding me? This man is a national fugitive, whose name and face is plastered across the country, and his first idea when his car breaks down on the highway is to post on a public Facebook page? Location, phone number, and all!

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This country deserves better criminals. People always say that Hollywood has ruined the perception of common Americans due to the luxurious lifestyles and perfect bodies that they see on TV and in movies, but I don’t care about any of that. I know that I’m poor, and I know that I’m Gumby with a gut. But one thing I will say that Hollywood has misled us about is the idea that criminals are geniuses. I mean, do you remember when Danny Ocean and his boys ransacked the Bellagio for the tune of $160 million right under that weasel Terry Benedict’s big nose? Now THAT was crime.


Or how about when Clyde Shelton orchestrated a meticulous revenge tour for the murders of his wife and daughter by killing everyone involved in the corruption, all while sitting in his high-security jail cell? Say what you want about his tactics, but that man was a true genius.

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Those crimes took 10 years of plotting and prep work to pull off. It wasn’t easy. And neither was when Verbal Kint faked cerebral palsy while assisting investigators, leaving viewers ambiguously wondering whether the Turkish crime lord Keyser Soze even exits.


These guys were brilliant! I mean, Hollywood has spoiled us over and over again by portraying that some of the sharpest minds and best schemers in the world have turned to evil.




But that’s just not how it is in real life. That’s fantasy land. Today’s criminals just don’t put in the effort like their fantasy role models do in movies. It appears that actual criminals are just lazy idiots that have resorted to crime because they don’t want to work hard. So instead of pulling elaborate schemes to loot millions of dollars from banks and casinos, they do things like post their location and phone number on Facebook. It’s sad really. Real criminals are just passive morons. Well, except one.