There is No Title Of This Blog. Chicago Is Unbelievably Cold Right Now
On Wednesday, Chicagoans will experience record-breaking winter weather as the temperature dips well below zero. (It’ll be colder here than it is in Antarctica, if you haven’t already heard.) To prepare for the extreme conditions, Chicago businesses have shuttered and the city has set up emergency warming stations for those who don’t have a warm place to retreat to.
Lyft is making it easy for Chicagoans to access those stations by partnering with the city and United Way of Metro Chicago to provide free rides to warming centers through Friday, February 1 at 11:59pm. Use the code CHIJAYDEN19 (named for Winter Storm Jayden) to redeem two rides at up to $25 each to city-designated warming centers.
Additionally, the city of Chicago advises residents to call 311 if they encounter homeless individuals who do not have shelter and may be struggling with the cold. Dial 911 if there is an immediate threat to that individual’s life.
Stay warm out there, Chicago!
People may think that #BearWeather is a joke in Chicago, but it’s not, it’s a way of life. So what I’m about to say may get me excommunicated by Gas Money Bob, but this weather legitimately terrifies me.
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I’ll admit, I’m soft. My dad is a construction worker and he thinks I’m the biggest pussy ever for finding a career where my office is simply anywhere with a computer. Hand up, I’m a bitch. Our president had the right idea yesterday when he asked this wildly important question:
I mean, he’s got a point. If it global warming actually existed I would have been able to train year round for baseball, and if I were able to train year round for baseball, I’d be playing in the Show, not sitting in my boxer briefs on my couch writing blogs about how I would have played in the Show. Sucks but dems da breaks.
But that’s not the point. I’m also lazy on top of being a bitch. After we left the office yesterday I went home and gambled on random west coast basketball games. I knew the impending doom that is Chicago weather that was about to hit us today, but I didn’t go shopping. “I’ll just figure it out tomorrow.” Well now it’s tomorrow, and this is currently what’s in my fridge:
Now I gotta decide between getting my food delivered 3 times today and spending about $100 on those three meals or sucking it up and going to Mariano’s which is a cool 3/4 a mile away. What should I do? Apparently if you order delivery in this weather you’re a huge asshole. But you’re also a huge asshole if you deliver food. Cancels out, no?
Also shout out to Lyft for getting those in need a place to at least keep warm for the next few days. This weather is fucked up and nobody needs to be outside today.