Philly Pretzel Rat Would Beat The Shit Out Of Pizza Rat
As journalists it is our job to report on the facts of the world. We do not sensationalize or editorialize the subjects in which we report on. We simply recount a series of events using nothing but the facts.
And the fact here is that Philly Pretzel Rat would beat the ever living shit out of Pizza Rat if the two rats ever crossed paths with one another. Plain and simple. No doubts about it. This rat right here carrying 2 delicious soft pretzels on the Market Frankford Line would absolutely destroy this little punk ass bitch.
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It has nothing to do with strength. It has nothing to do with technique. What this all comes down to is heart and the desire to be a champion. Which Pretzel Rat has in spades.
The thing is that Pizza Rat already had his glow up. He already had his fame and glory. If Philly Pretzel Rat had to fight Pizza Rat back in 2015, I’d say it would be an even fight. At that time, Pizza Rat was still grinding away. He was still just trying to find his way in the world. That made him hungry. That gave him a drive to work his ass off to achieve success. But now that success has already been achieved and he’s gotten lazy.
It’s like the first fight in Rocky III when Clubber Lang beats the shit out of Rocky, who got way too comfortable with his own success up until that point. Clubber Lang was hungry, Clubber Lang wanted what Rocky had, and we all know how that story goes. Same thing here for Pretzel Rat. He sees the fame and notoriety that Pizza Rat got. He wants that same fame and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to take it from him.
P.S. – I just hope that rat one day gets to have a taste of a cheesesteak pretzel from Philly Pretzel Factory. Quite possibly the most delicious treat known to man.