Live EventNew York and Indiana Fans Face Off, NY Leads 2-0 - Live from the Barstool Gambling CaveStarting Soon
NEW: Bussin' With the Boys Dad Merch CollectionSHOP NOW

Advertisement

A Kid Called 911 Because He Had So Much Math Homework And The Dispatcher Helped Him

Fucking preach kid. Fractions? FUCK fractions. Fuck them right to hell. Seriously. Not only are fractions the devil but you don’t need them at all when you grow up. They are useless. Your teachers don’t tell you that when you’re punching yourself in the face because you can’t figure them out but they are. At a certain point, you get old enough and your parents put a smart phone in your hand and that’s that. No more questions about anything ever again. You just refresh Twitter until you die. Stupid ass fractions. Fractions aren’t as as useless as geometry or long division but they’re right up there.

Honestly though, shout out to that 911 dispatcher. If that didn’t warm your heart than you are incapable of feeling love and joy. I want her to adopt me after her performance on that phone call. She sounds like the nicest and kindest person in the whole wide world. She might’ve set a bad precedent though because now that kid is gonna be calling every time he has a shit ton of math homework and can’t figure it out. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice that she helped him out and all, but there might’ve been somebody on the other line who was bleeding out from a knife wound. I’d be pissed if I bled out just because a kid is overwhelmed by the amount of homework he has. The parents need to get the kid a tudor instead of having him clog up 911 lines with basic math questions.