Lil Pump is Now The Most Lyrical Rapper of All Time

Ice Cube. Tupac. Biggie Smalls. Jay-Z. Nas. Eminem. Lil Wayne. All great lyricists in their own right, there’s no denying that. They all dominated their eras of Rap with sensational lyrics and poet-esque wordplay. But did they ever really take whats theirs? Did they ever fully exhaust themselves to the point they’d be willing to do whatever it takes to get to the top of their profession? Maybe so, but none to the extent of Lil Pump. Lil Pump dug deep. He realized if he wanted to be the best of all time and achieve heights never seen before, he had to do things that had never been done before. Lil Pump thought to himself “Whats one thing that all these rappers have in common?”

He quickly discovered they all had multiple platinum selling albums. Was that the answer? To go to the studio and work extremely hard at his craft to eventually produce two albums that would sell millions of copies and leave an ever lasting mark on the music industry? But then Lil Pump thought to himself again, “A couple platinum albums would only put me in the same category as those names. What can I do to separate myself?”

Then it hit him like 4 Xanax bars before a cross-country flight. He had to go the science route. It was the only way he could get the edge he was looking for. With his prestigious high school career and laundry list of accolades he was able to get accepted to Harvard Medical School. While studying at Harvard Med Lil Pump met now close friend and Spiritual Coach, Charlie Sheen.

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It was Charlie Sheen who helped Lil Pump find his true self and his love for modern medicine and the scientific method. Lil Pump studied extremely hard and went on to become valedictorian of his class after only a few hours of school. He unfortunately developed a cold around the time of his graduation and was self-prescribed Promethazine with Codeine Cough Syrup. Here’s a photo celebrating his big day!

Now that Lil Pump had graduated from Harvard Medical School and was a certified doctor, he needed to put what he had learned to the test. He still wasn’t fully aware what direction this research was going to head in, but he knew in his heart it would lead him to the top. He came up with a hypothesis “Lil Pump is the most lyrical Rapper of All Time”. He fought tooth and nail, worked day and night for it to be regarded as law. He tested his theory over and over and over again changing up methods daily with no luck. Until finally one day he caught lightning in a bottle. He popped 3 Xanax, 3 Percocet, 1 gram of Molly, sipped 4 ounces of lean and smoked 1 ounce of weed and came to this conclusion.

So there you have it. Through the power of medicine, Lil Pump had stumbled upon what he had been attempting to achieve all along. To become the most lyrical rapper of all time. All it takes is 3 Xanax, 3 Percocet, 1 gram of Molly, 4 ounces of lean and 1 ounce of weed and if you don’t die, you too can feel like the most lyrical rapper of all time! All you have to do is believe in yourself and take enough drugs to kill a family of 4 from Wyoming.