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It Turns Out the Pats Mascot is Practically at Death's Door Thanks to Pro Bowl Co-MVP Jamal Adams


There’s been some talk back and forth over the last few days as to whether Pat Patriot was really injured by that cheap shot from Jamal Adams or whether it was exaggerated just to … what, exactly? Motivate the team? Like Agent Colson faking his death in at the hands of Loki in order to bring The Avengers together? I’m not sure, but I think on the scale of galvanizing, unifying events, I’m not sure I’d put some injuries to a grown man in a cosplay suit would have the same effect as say, what the Marathon bombing was to the 2013 Red Sox. If anything, I’d put it up there with the death of Manti Te’o’s fictional girlfriend on the 2012 Fighting Irish.

And while I’ll agree with Dave that the Patriots mascot has no business at the Pro Bowl anyway, I can’t go so far as to say Pat brought that shit on himself. I won’t victim shame a costumed cheerleader who’s lying close to death with severe jaw, neck and back injuries. In a civilized society, we have a reasonable expectation that our fellow citizens will not be assaulted, be they someone walking down the street, in a bar where their type is not “welcome” or a man in a giant foam head surrounded by losers who can’t make it to a Super Bowl.

So thoughts and prayers to Pat Patriot for a speedy recovery. Should he show up for the game Sunday like he says, I’m not claiming it’ll move the needle for the Patriots players much. But it’ll at least show the Rams that even unnecessary roughness from the winner of the prestigious Pro Bowl MVP award can’t keep him down.