Having An Alligator As Your Emotional Support Animal Is The Ultimate Power Move

AP- A Pennsylvania man says his emotional support alligator helps him deal with his depression. Joie Henney, 65, said his registered emotional support animal named Wally likes to snuggle and give hugs, despite being a 5-foot-long alligator. The York Haven man said he received approval from his doctor to use Wally as his emotional support animal after not wanting to go on medication for depression, he told Philly.com.

Wally was rescued from outside Orlando at 14 months old and is still growing; Henney said Wally could be 16 feet long one day. Henney says Wally eats chicken wings and shares an indoor plastic pond with a smaller rescue alligator named Scrappy.

I think we can all agree that at some point emotional support animals got a little too crazy once people graduated from your typical emotional support cat or dog, mainly on the airlines where we had people flying with emotional support turkeys

Emotional support ducks

Emotional support peacocks

And finally the topper of it all, an emotional support squirrel. That was the breaking point for emotional support animals because the squirrel was not allowed to fly on the plane because it’s a fucking EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TREE RAT!

However, our boy Joie has officially brought outside of the box emotional support animals #back with his gator Henney. If Joie was messing with an emotional support snake or lizard, I would probably rebuke his ass because nobody likes the creepy lizard guy. But I can’t think of a better way to support your emotions than by getting a gator. All your problems instantly disappear once you own what is essentially a pet dinosaur. Feeling sad? Feed your gator some meat and get a hit of primal dopamine to the brain that comes with watching a predator devour its prey. Someone making you feel anxious because they are looking at you? Nobody is fucking with a dude that has an emotional support animal that can eat them once if you snap your fingers. A dickhead bring an emotional support peacock or squirrel on the plane that’s causing delays? That’s right, feed it to your gator and it will be #WheelsUp before you know it. Embarrassed your name is Joie? Well there’s not much you can do there without legally changing your name. But if you ever get down on yourself, just remember that you own one of the greatest killing machines God has ever invented. If that doesn’t raise your confidence level to a 99, nothing will. Fuck medical marijuana or meditation. Emotional support alligators is where it’s at.