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Shocker! Jeff Wilpon Says The Mets Are Out On Bryce Harper And Manny Machado Because They Already Have A $30 Million Player In Yoenis Cespedes

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Wooooo buddy, Jeff Wilpon has some fucking balls dropping that quote right now. The Brodie Man has been selling Mets fans on how they are doing everything they can to compete this season, the entire fanbase became aware that the Wilpons did not re-invest the insurance money they got from David Wright’s contract last summer, Yo Cespedes is recovering from his double heel surgery he had in the fall (that will likely come with a fat insurance check sent directly to the Wilpons because it doesn’t sound like he’ll be playing much, if at all).

But then Jeff Wilpon has the fucking GAUL to cry poverty as he continues to act like the Mets play in a medium sized market with a payroll close a few million dollars more than the Seattle Mariners. Our entire pitching staff is made up of young, decent-to-great pitchers on arbitration. Yo is the only huge contract we have and the Geico gecko is likely going to take care of most of that. Two of the best players in baseball, in their absolute prime years, are available in free agency and cost nothing to the Mets other than money, which will come back in droves because it’s New York and Mets fans will go to the stadium to watch their team and also watch game on the network owned by these crooked dickbags! Instead the Mets are loading up on players that can play 2nd base and praying to God that Todd Frazier doesn’t suck and Peter Alonso has absolutely no trouble becoming a masher in his rookie season along with any potential defensive issues he will certainly encounter. It’s truly unbelievable to me that the Wilpons can continue to do a few half measures in the winter to keep the fans off their back, wait for Spring Fever to kick in when everyone gets excited about baseball, and all of us idiots come back to this team until they all fall apart because we are missing the big bat that was there for the taking in free agency. I don’t know how Major League Baseball allows these two human gutterballs to keep allowing a major market team to be run like a small market team, but they have been as complicit in all this as the Wilpons in my eyes. At least Ken Rosenthal had the balls to call the Wilpons out on their bullshit.

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Okay, I’ll admit I didn’t read that article because I am actually poor and can’t afford The Athletic. But I get the gist of it. The Wilpons were probably hoping that both Harper and Machado would cash in the usual money reserved for young superstars in their mid-20s and all fans rationalizing about how much money it took to lock them up. Instead, none of that happened and now two players that could make the entire Mets roster click together like a completed puzzle remain out there unsigned (along with the Phillies being linked to two of them and at least a chance Bryce goes back to the Nats) and the Wilpons just going to stick their heads in the sand until Machado or Harper end up signing right before the season with another contender and put together an incredible season like J.D. Martinez did. I don’t know where Jeff made this statement, but I am just going to tell myself it was during another safari in Africa just to really work myself into an angry lather. Fuck this franchise, fuck the Wilpons, and fuck Major League Baseball for allowing this to continue to happen just because Bernie Madoff financially buttfucked them years ago.