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This Semi Ojeleye GQ Interview Is The Only Porn You'll Need Tonight

Boston Celtics v New Orleans Pelicans

Ever since Danny Ainge took Semi with the 37th pick in the 2017 Draft it was pretty clear that he was going to be a fan favorite. Right away we were blown away by his physical presence, the man was jacked as hell, and given how Brad likes to play in terms of versatility have having guys defend multiple possessions, I think we all envisioned him as a secret 3 and D weapon off the bench. Given the roster there wasn’t an immediate need for him so the team could be patient with his potential, and I would say he’s proven to be one of the best defenders on this entire team. Weird Celtics Twitter of course had fun with his jacked frame, and with this new GQ interview coming out it’s starting to spread to the rest of the world who may not pay attention to the Celtics enough to know all about their 13th man. You can read the full interview here, which I highly suggest because it’s awesome, but I went ahead and picked out my favorite parts to share with you all as a way to help get your blood pumping. Sorry in advance if this gets you in trouble at work, but it’s about to get steamy up in this bitch.

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Hmmm let me just think about this for a second. Did Semi at one time play for Duke? Yup. Now we’re hearing that he’s a big Chipotle guy, hmmmmm. Why is this important? Well is it any surprise Danny Ainge drafted him when honestly the only thing he cares about is Chipotle and if you went to Duke? Those are his two biggest weaknesses. Not only can he not help himself from drafting or acquiring Duke players, he also has a Chipotle black card or whatever that thing is called. The man is made up of draft picks and chicken bowl (barbacoa if he’s feeling fancy).

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God dammit that is so Aron Baynes. It makes sense, Baynes is a certified crazy person but we love him for it. To be honest as weird as that combo is, it’s definitely not as weird as I would have thought. I just envision Baynes at the facility going through the kitchen and mixing and mashing anything and everything in sight speaking gibberish to himself. Everybody is watching and wants to say something but is simply too afraid to question him. I consider him this team’s Pedro Cerrano from Major League, just in the locker room doing weird shit and everyone just goes with it because he is terrifying.

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Oh yes, that’s the good stuff right there. I’ll even give Semi some credit, he’s trying to be coy with listing Giannis, but make no mistake. Semi is the best chance any team has at remotely slowing Giannis down, notice I didn’t say stopper because no one can stop him, but it’s also true no one plays him better. See for yourself

Some might say this is a bit cocky considering he’s an end of bench player but I dare you to find the lie. There really is not a player out there in the league that can overpower Semi. It can be a big, it can be a wing, it can be a guard it doesn’t matter, you can’t break that frame. The way he gets his center of gravity so low is one of his biggest strengths, he can absorb any sort of back down or post up and not move an inch because his legs are essentially three trunks, trying to physically dominate Semi has never worked for anyone who has ever tried it and that’s just a fact. He didn’t want to admit that he’s pound for pound the strongest player in the NBA but we have eyes. We see the combat muscles, we know the truth.

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There’s a bunch of other great stuff in there but hopefully that helped you on your quest for self pleasure later this evening. I find it pretty cool that a lot of the Celtics fan favorites like the Ojeleye Factory and Timelord are starting to get mainstream recognition so the rest of the world can see what we see and love them all the same.

And now, to finish you off, the highlights