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You Don't Actually Lift Unless You Get Locked Inside A "24 Hour Fitness" After Closing, Bro


SPRING, TexasOn Friday night, Jonathan Santos was working out at 24 Hour Fitness in Spring when he was unexpectedly locked inside.

Santos says he was in the locker room a few minutes before closing, when he saw an employee doing a final walk through. That employee acknowledged his presence. However, when he left the locker room he discovered the doors were locked.

Any soy boy beta cuck can get a gym membership and show up for an hour or so on a fairly regular schedule. Maybe you lift Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Maybe sprinkle in some cardio days in between. Maybe you’re in there every single day. But how long do you typically go to the gym for? An hour? 90 minutes? Maybe 2 hours if you’re serious about stretching before and giving yourself a cool down before calling it a day. Or maybe you’re one of those dudes who likes to hang out in the locker room or by the smoothie bar to shoot the shit for a while before leaving. Either way, I highly doubt any of you are staying in the gym for much longer than 2 hours.

Which is why you’re all bitches compared to this dude right here.

My man got a membership to 24 Hour Fitness because he intended on lifting the shit out of some heavy ass weights for 24 hours per day. Like Ronnie Coleman said, “errybody wanna be a bodybuilder. But don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight”.


And again, it’s easy for anybody to show up to the gym for an hour at any given time throughout the day. Don’t act like you’re better than anybody just because you decide to lift for an hour at 4:30 in the morning. Don’t think you’re anything special just because you decide to get an hour in the gym at 10pm. Unless you’re lifting at 24 Hour Fitness for so damn long that even 24 Hour Fitness closes down on you, you don’t actually lift. Plain and simple.

You want gains? You eat at the gym, you sleep at the gym, you live at the gym even if that means they need to lock your ass in there overnight.

By the way–how are you gonna call yourself “24 Hour Fitness” if you close on a Friday night? That just doesn’t make a lick of sense.