Tiger Woods x Torrey Pines = My Penis Is Hard
Sup friends. Let’s cut to the chase — Tiger Woods is pegging it which makes this a real event. Makes it a big event. Makes it the biggest event of the year thus far. Yes Adam Long fist-pumping right in Phil’s eyeball at the Deserted Classic is cute but Tiger roasting drives along the southern California cliffs gives us real boners. That’s sex.
Tiger’s won here 8 times. He’s begun his season here every “real year” since ’06 (basically when he’s healthy, he starts at Torrey). He won this event in ’99, ’03, ’05, ’06, ’07, ’08, and most recently in ’13.
Let’s look at him.
History
This thing began in 1952 as the San Diego Open. Tiger’s won here a million times; Phil’s won here three times; Jason Day is the defending champ. Many of the greats — Arnie, Jack, Tom Watson, Johnny Miller — have all won here.
Bottom line — it’s a historic stop and a staple event of the PGA Tour. Big names play and win here.
The Track
Torrey Pines has a North and a South Course. For the first 36 holes, players split between the two. For the final 36, they play the South Course. The South is our focus (although the North recently underwent a $12 million remodeling).
The course is longer.
The greens are bigger.
The nines have been flipped.The new Torrey Pines North. https://t.co/drJ7EiQHo7 pic.twitter.com/BLF5b5cwWi
— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) January 25, 2017
Let’s look at the South.
Torrey Pines is a tough course the players typically like. They respect. It doesn’t try to trick you or deceive you or steal yo girl — it just tries to fuck you the old-fashioned way. It’s hosted the U.S. Open and will again in 2 years.
The architecture geeks hate it — and they’ve got some good reasons for that — but at the end of the day it’s a beautiful site with a strong field and some sharp teeth.
7,600 yards. 78.1 rating/144 slope.
Notable Holes
3rd, 198-yard par 3
Lovely.
13th, 614-yard par 5
This hole’s a beast. If it’s into the wind, guys aren’t getting home in two. If downwind, a couple hard ones can get you there. Phil famously put up a 9-spot in the third round in ’08.
While Tiger, the same day, made this all-time eagle.
18th, 571-yard par 5
This hole’s become pretty famous over the years thanks mostly to this guy.
Clubhouse
Think I like this thing more now than I have in the past. Weird how that works.
Clubhouse grade, 6.8
Weather
Fore Play Guys In The Field
Tiger Woods (probably a stretch to call him a Fore Play guy but he did go one-on-one with me so it’s not a stretch), Keegan Bradley, Bud Cauley, Stewart Cink, Brian Harman, Jim Herman, Charley Hoffman, Ryan Palmer, Pat Perez, Ollie Schniederjans, Harold Varner III.
Predictions
Winning Score
Jason Day won by getting into a playoff at 10-under last year. In 2017, winner Jon Rahm was 13-under but in the three years prior, no one finished double-digits under.
Winning score, 11-under.
Winner
Dark Horse
This is borderline dark horse territory but I can’t help it. It’s a ball-strikers golf course and Gary Woodland is a BALL. STRIKER. And now he’s putting better.
At 28/1, my dark horse is Gary Woodland.
The Steven Bowditch / Smylie Kaufman Memorial DFL Award
Hunter Mahan’s in the field!!!! Honestly thought he was dead or perhaps on the Anthony Kim retirement plan. I don’t know that Hunter will finish DFL but I will say, “The Steven Bowditch / Smylie Kaufman / Hunter Mahan Memorial DFL Award” has a real nice ring to it.
DFL, Hunter Mahan.
PS — According to research these are Hunter’s most recent results. Actually not bad.
Coverage
Golf Channel covering Thursday & Friday from 3-7pm EST.
Golf Channel covering Saturday & Sunday from 1-2:45pm EST.
CBS covering Saturday & Sunday starting at 3pm EST.
PGA TOUR Live is in action with some big names in the featured groups.
Final Thoughts
We had Kiz back on the show this week and he did not disappoint. He clarified his explosive Patrick Reed comments, said he’ll basically go 0-4 in the majors, and explained how he tries to make taking the trash out look really difficult so it’s the only chore he has to do.
Enjoy Torrey.