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Fyre Festival Part 2 Allegedly Scheduled for May

Great news for all the people who paid $12,000 for the Fyre Festival and left feeling like they didn’t quite get their money’s worth. Late Tuesday, several social media influencers and Instagram models posted a link to a website advertising a poorly-made poster for “Fyre Festival Part 2: Tropical Remix,” which is set to take place in May on the Bay of Bengal’s highly remote North Sentinel Island for the discounted price of only $11,500.

While the festival won’t include any music performances, or performances of any kind for that matter, attendees will get the opportunity to look at models, do ecstasy with YouTubers, party with the locals, and meet the brains behind the world’s most savage Twitter account.

The exotic paradise of North Sentinel Island, which is known for being home to one of the last uncontacted tribes to be virtually untouched by modern civilization, will be sure to offer a literal once-in-a-lifetime experience at a location that will be perfect for the type of people who are willing to pay five digits for an exclusive music festival.

If no one’s performing, who’s going to be there? Headliners for this year’s festival include Logan Paul, Alexis Ren, and I’m just trying to capitalize on the Fyre Festival’s current popularity in order to get more page views and save my career, who will perform on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, respectively. Other performers include the mayor of Topeka, Kansas and Billy McFarland’s middle school science teacher. A full schedule can be found on Fyre Festival Part 2’s website.

Can I still buy tickets? No. Well, not officially anyway. According to reports, passes for the festival, which went on sale Jan. 5, sold out after a few hours.