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Are You A Trump Supporter? A Cubs Fan? A Trump Supporting Cubs fan? DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT STEPPING FOOT IN THIS HYDE PARK BAR

Apparently you don’t just need to know the password to get into a Prohibition-style speakeasy in Chicago – you also need to know the rules.

The Hyde, located in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood, is making waves for its controversial new “house rules,” which include no Cubs fans and “no Trump supporters.”

For those who know the password and can find the Hyde’s unmarked, secret entrance hidden between maintenance closet walls, those are only some of the restrictions to keep in mind.

“These are the rules of the house making their rounds. There’s no room for negative people in our house,” the Hyde posted to Instagram Monday. “If you don’t understand the industry and are ignorant to the humor in this then do us a favor and hit that unfollow button.”

The rules include no cell phone use inside the lounge, “no shoes, no teeth, no service,” “we are always right,” “TIP,” and “when the barkeep says you’ve had enough, you have!”

Number nine on the list adds, “if you can’t taste the Alcohol, DON’T ORDER EVERYTHING WITH CRANBERRY JUICE.”

The venue features candle-lit tables, antique furnishings, brick walls painted with images of 1920s-era Chicago legends, live music and a rotating “eclectic menu.” Guests are encouraged to dress in 1920s-1950s fashion.

The Hyde is located at 5121 S. Harper Avenue, below 5115 S. Harper Avenue. Guests are told to “look for the red light.”

Hey ‘The Hyde’, you know what?  You almost had me here.  ALMOST HAD ME.  Bylaw after bylaw I can get behind.  If I were a U of C student or Hyde Park resident, I’d have considered frequenting your bar regularly.  But because of who I am and what I believe in, I can’t step foot in your bar?  Fuck.  You.

Again, some of the rules check out just fine.

No bitching? Check
No homeless people?  Check
No Cubs fans? Check.  BIG check.  Cubs fans are the bane of my existence and they should all be put on an island that we nuke until it glows.

But you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.  You had to dip your toe in the mud and call me and my people out.

Now I’m going to make this loud and fucking clear, ‘The Hyde’

I’m sick and tired of being lambasted for being a cell phone addict.  

How in the fuck do you think you think you can get away with this?  This is a civil rights violation at its finest.  Persecute me, a millennial, solely because I need constant updates on what Brother Nature is up to with Canela?  Because I need to check in on my friends via an IG story?

Fuck outta here.  You will pay for this.  I have access to the finest layer in Chicagoland, Carl, who dropped out of law school twice, and I fully plan on suing.  And I find it pretty damn ironic that you posted your list of rules ON A PHONE to Instagram.  You know as much as we do that you did it solely for the social media likes, you snake in the grass.

Roe vs. Wade, Brown vs. The Board of Education, Dassey vs. Dittman, and WSD vs. The Hyde.  I will take this case all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to.