Blowjobs Are CANCELED!

Man on man. Just when the gluck glucks were getting guh-good they rip em away from us. SHIT! Look, I’m a married man so this isn’t about me. This is about the younger fellas and the old fellas out there. Hopefully, there’s something we can do to reverse course.

A brief history on the demographics of those whom receive oral pleasures. Young dudes get blowies but so do the olds. In fact, oral sex happens the most at nursing homes. Nana just rips out her teeth, throws them bad boys on the counter, and gets to work on papa’s dick like she’s Farmer Frank in the frozen Tundra of South Dakota. *Migos Voice* Squirt squirt

That kitten is cute!

I don’t hate my pal Yusef’s reasoning for stopping the oral train, though. He can be right.

Batteries? Hmmmm. I always thought the commonly used comparison was pennies. I just think there’s a compromise to be had here. There’s no reason to rid the world of oral pleasures altogether. We must find some common ground, after all, neither genders privates tastes good (from what I’ve heard) and I am sick and tired of eating pineapple. It’s so acidic!

Might I suggest playing a game called “bobbing for cough drops” inside her voodoo clam or “take a dick dip in Fun-Dip?”

Sugar-free lozenge though, fellas. Keep in mind that sugar can cause a yeast infection. If you search for the cough drop right, your lady will be putting a pillow over her head and hollerin RIIICCCCOOOLLLLLAAAAA!