Tale as old as time. Teanna Trump does some porn, Twitter goes WILD. Very few people move the twitter needle and my needle quite like Teanna. Last night she was trending #3 after her release. Teanna Trump porn is like an album drop or a sneaker drop. They drop promo pics and hype material all building up to a release date. Chum the waters and let the sharks start circling. All in anticipation of some absolutely fire fucking that is gonna have everyone in a frenzy. Everybody out here beating their dicks and their keyboards, firing off loads and meme with equal fervor. Its honestly quite a phenomenon. Nobody has captivated the modern porn market quite like Teanna. From her stints in jail to her Instagram bans to her return to the game, everything has been documented on the internet. Last night she dropped a new video with Vicki Chase, who, if we’re being honest, is bringing the fucking noise in her own right. Teanna is KD and Vicki is Steph Curry. Shes a BADDIE. They teamed up with some black dude with an enormous dick and Twitter went bananas:
I honestly dont know what is better – Teanna and Vicki’s performance, or the internet’s response. I mean I’m exaggerating, its Teanna and Vicki. But goddam the internet is so fucking funny when she drops her heat. It restores all my faith and happiness in the internet. All the bad shit and downsides of Twitter disappear and all the funny comes out. Bravo to all parties involved.
PS – If you watch the grand finale, there’s a conspiracy theory that there’s too much…uh….volume. That its not a natural…amount. Theres a quick jump cut, and then it looks like a fucking slushie machine has been turned on. Ignorance is bliss on this one. If I find out its porn PEDs and editing magic, the whole thing is ruined for me. As far as I’m concerned, that shit was real. Its like believing in Santa Claus. A lie that brings a smile vs a truth that brings a tear. People are saying its fake, but I choose to believe its real.