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Dude Kidnaps Himself To Extort $2,000 Ransom From His Girlfriend

PLATTEKILL, N.Y.Authorities say a 31-year-old man in upstate New York faked his own kidnapping to extort ransom from his girlfriend. Police in Plattekill in Ulster County tell the Times Herald-Record of Middletown ( ) that Mark Rodriguez left for work in his girlfriend’s car on Jan. 14. Officials say the woman later received a telephone call from a stranger saying her boyfriend had been kidnapped and she needed to hand over $2,000 or he would be killed. She contacted police, who tracked other calls made to her. Police began a search and found Rodriguez and an accomplice inside the girlfriend’s car in the city of Newburgh. He was unharmed. Rodriguez was arrested on Tuesday and charged with attempted grand larceny. He has been released from jail after posting bail.

Bro $2,000? Have some self respect. I mean you gotta have some serious self esteem issues to kidnap yourself and set your own ransom bar at 2 grand. On the one hand I kind of respect picking an attainable number, but out of sheer cockiness and arrogance I’m not going a penny below $10,000 for my fake kidnapping ransom. Like yea, 2,000 bucks is a nice chunk of change to secretly extort from your girlfriend, but is it worth being known as the guy who’s only worth like one month of bills? Obviously nobody is gonna pay like $5,000,000 for Mark Rodriguez who’s already borrowing his girl’s car, but step it up man.

PS – If I tried to hold myself for ransom I don’t know if a single person would pay. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend would be like “Eh, you can have him.”