Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP NOW

Advertisement

Female Soccer Coach Says She Picks Her Players Based on Penis Size

Soccer coach_gettyimages-52678236

SourceThe first female to lead a men’s football team in one of Germany’s top leagues had a sassy response for a cheeky journalist.

Former German international, Imke Wubbenhorst, became the first female coach in the top five divisions of German football when she was drafted by club BV Cloppenberg on December 21.

It didn’t take long before the media felt prompted to ask the 30-year-old some bold questions.

Weld reported that a journalist had questioned whether she should wear a siren so that players in the dressing room could hear her coming and put some pants on, to which Wubbenhorst cleverly replied, “Of course not. I am a pro. I pick (my team) on penis size”.

Having previously worked as a sports teacher, Wubbenhorst said she had no issues with laying down the law.

First of all, it’s surprising to hear a former teacher sexualize the young males she’s been hired to instruct. Frankly I think it’s outrageous and you’d never hear of such a thing happening in the United States. Secondly, I love a head coach who gives condescending answers to asinine questions as much as the next guy. But thirdly, and most importantly, I think Imke Wubbenhorst’s comments are sexist and insensitive and need to be condemned in the harshest possible terms.

For far too long we’ve tolerated this sort of discriminatory, hateful speech under the guise that it’s “just a joke.” Well you know who doesn’t appreciate the “joke?” Men with small penises, that’s who. It’s tough enough surviving in the toxic atmosphere of a men’s locker room for those of us with below average wangs. To us, the Irish Curse is no laughing matter. We didn’t choose to have undersized dongs. Men who are hung like hamsters want to be judged on their abilities to kick a ball into a net, not to be Penis Shamed by entitled members of the Matriarchy exercising their Female Privilege like Coach Wubbenhorst.

I don’t want her fired. I don’t want her to apologize. All I want is for men with small-to-average dicks to be treated like equals, no matter how unequal we are. Until we achieve total Penis Acceptance, none of us will truly be free.