Your Car Ain't Shit Unless You Can Literally Shit In It. Facts Are Facts
I don’t fancy myself as much of a “car guy”. In fact, I know essentially nothing about them except for how to put gas in them and drive. Actually I also know how to jump start a car so that’s something. But earlier this year my car got a flat tire and instead of doing anything to fix it, I just decided I wasn’t going to drive anymore for a few weeks. So I understand that my opinion may not carry the “be-all-end-all” weight when it comes to the subject of cars and such.
With that being said, I feel extremely confident in saying that if you’re not driving a toilet then you’re not actually driving a luxury vehicle. Mercedes? BMW? Lexus? What are all of those? They have 4 tires, an engine, a steering wheel, a few regular seats, they get you from point A to point B? That’s just a fucking car. There’s nothing luxury about it. Sure they might be made a little nicer and have a few special features here and there. But at the end of the day, those cars all do the exact same thing that my 15-year-old Mazda does, and my care sure as shit isn’t anything I’d consider “luxury”.
But a toilet car? That right there is luxury, my friends.
One of the worst parts about road trips is when you have to piss or shit. And it seems like you never have to go until right after you pass a rest stop. But as soon as you have to go, every single turn and every single bump you hit in the road feels like it’s going to be your last before you drench yourself in piss. You’re caught in the middle of deciding whether or not you want to waste some time and pull over on the side of the road or if you can hold it in a little while longer until you come across the next rest stop. But what if you never needed to make that decision again?
What if you could just piss and shit right there in the driver seat?
It doesn’t get more luxurious than that. So I’m sorry to everybody out there who thought they were flexing on the world driving their Mercedes and their BMW’s and their Teslas and whatever other cars are out there that I’ll never be able to afford. As much as I hate to break this news to you, your car ain’t shit unless you can actually shit in it.