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I'm Obsessed With This Throw From Tommy "No Tight Windows" Brady

You may remember this throw from Sunday, it’s the one that Tony Romo damn near pleasure himself to during the game, but this was my first time seeing it in slow-mo I think and damned if I didn’t lose sleep tossing and turning, fantasizing about this baby. It’s beyond gorgeous. It’s breathtaking. It’s, dare I agree with Romo and say… erotic? Tony called this the best ball he’d seen in years, said it was all-world, and if I’m not mistaken advocated for it to receive its own wing in the football hall of fame. It’s offensive in its beauty. This throw was a mean girl who was not content to simply be stunning, it also had to embarrass others on its journey. It mocked folks as it flew by their fingertips. This football said “Ooops! Gotta be quicker than that!” like a Geico commercial while it traveled into Julian Edelman’s hands.

Is it petty to write a blog about a single pass? Sure is. Don’t care. Kevin would tell me that it’s beneath me to even write this because Patriot fans shouldn’t concern themselves with trolls and hot take artists, but I don’t care. The Patriots and Tom Brady have been so good for so long that just being good doesn’t get me off anymore, everyone else has to feel foolish and know they’re wrong and their life’s work is pointless, just like mine. This clip proves that everyone is exactly that.

Thank you and suck my dick.