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Taylor Swift Keeps Getting Dumped Because She Doesn't Put Out

Radar Online – Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift after growing tired of her “asexual” ways, exclusively reports. The 18-year-old One Direction heartthrob, who has earned a reputation as a ladies’ man across the pond, got bored of Taylor, 23, after she hardly ever put out.  “Taylor is so concerned that the public will think she’s a wh*re because she dates around, that she doesn’t put out,” a pal close to the We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together singer told “What she doesn’t get is that the guys keep dumping her because she’s being a prude.”  Another source says the fact that she constantly talked about antiques was another turn-off for the young singer! “Harry found Taylor a little sexually uninterested,” a source close to the star revealed.

Hey Taylor guess what! Everyone already thinks you’re a whore! Might as well get fucked while you’re at it. Although I must say – what did these fucking guys think they were getting into when they started dating this girl:

Did they think they were gonna get porn star sex from this chick? She either looks like she’s about to go on the Oregon Trail or shes from the 1950s. I could take one look at this bitch and tell you you’re gonna be talking about antiques getting handjobs if you date her.

The problem is you can’t do this with famous rich dudes. Because they all know what they could be getting if they were single. Movie stars and pop stars ain’t settling for dry humping an awkward prude when they know they can be having wild groupie sex. You gotta get a normal ass guy for that shit. I will gladly date Taylor Swift and watch Antique Roadshow with her every night before I masturbate to Trouble and go to sleep in separate beds. If you think I can’t keep my dick in my parents for millions of dollars, you don’t know me very well. Expensive lavish gifts and living like a king is 200% better than banging anyway. Again, all those famous dudes have all that shit so no reason for them to put up with the chastity belt. But KFC is a different story. Hey Taylor…call me.