And With The 9th Pick, In The 2013 NFL Draft, The New York Jets Select...Manti Te'o from Notre Dame

So pretty much instantly this is how the Stoolie world reacted when this story broke. How fucking sick is that? Probably the most fucked up, deranged, bizarre, creepy and pathetic story of the past 20 years comes out and instantly people associated it with the Jets. I guess thats what you get when your coach likes to put his dick between his wife’s feet. Kinda just puts you in the Freak Show section of the NFL circus.

But really, how perfect would it be? A match made in heaven. Right now its a little too quiet in Jets land. Guys have been fired. Rex is on the beach. Sanchez is a dead man walking. Not much to say about anything right now. Thats not the Jets way. Quiet and controlled is not the Jets mantra. We need some fake dead bitches up in this joint! We need closet homosexuality speculation week in and week out! We need all the headlines help we can get!

And honestly, I wish I was joking. At this point with the Jets though, I wouldn’t put it past them. I truly, genuinely wouldn’t. You know how El Pres will sell his soul for website exposure so we call him Davey Pageviews? Thats Woody Johnson and headlines. Woody Headlines will do anything for the spotlight. Its like he’s an actual addict. Plus outside of quarterback, their biggest need is at linebacker. So when draft day comes and a Butkus Award winning, Heisman Finalist who can generate more headlines than Tim Tebow is still on the board, there’s honestly like a 70% chance Woody makes the Jets take him. They might not have a GM until after draft day simply because everyone is waiting to see whether or not they take this fucking loser psychopath.

Can you imagine that locker room? Can you imagine the interaction between Manti Te’o and Antonio Cromartie? One man has 10 real, breathing reproducing girlfriends and the other guy is a homo with a fake dead one. I don’t think you can find 2 polar opposites more different than those two assholes. I’m praying to the blog gods that this all happens.