The Manhattan Madam From The Spitzer Scandal Running For Mayor

Business InsiderKristin Davis, the “Manhattan Madam” who provided call girls for Eliot Spitzer,  is running for New York City Mayor, according to her website [via Absolute Return’s Lawrence Delevingne]. If she becomes the next mayor, Davis, who used to work at a hedge fund, says she will work with the industry. Davis told Absolute Return in an interview that she wants to work with hedge funds on compliance with SEC rules and finding a level of transparency to boost trust between the markets and the funds.   For the campaign, she’s running as a Libertarian and branding herself as the “Libertarian Lady.” Her platform focuses on ending restrictions on soft drink sizes, gambling and marijuana, AR points out. 

SEC rules, Libertarian platform, hedge fund industry blah blah blah. Can I drink big sodas? Kristin Davis says yes? Then sign me up. Whichever mayor lets be drink a Big Gulp, smoke some weed and gamble is A-OK with me. And I don’t even really smoke weed or gamble. Its just the principal of the matter.

I hope this chick is just a Trojan Horse for the whore industry to take back New York City. Like “Oh look at Kristin Davis she used to manage a hedge fund and she’s a libertarian, she should be mayor!” And then BOOM 15 minutes into her term she’s reopening the peep shows and has hookers on every corner from here to Staten Island. I want the old New York back. The one before Giuliani cleaned everything up. The New York they said was like the Wild Wild West. Crime and whores and squeegee men. Buckets of soda and mountains of salt. Police brutality and organized crime. People dying in Central Park. I wanna live in fucking Gotham City like the movies. Kristin Davis is just the pimp to do that. Promise the people big sodas and then implement your own prostitution agenda and lets turn New York City back into the badass Metropolis it once was. Because these days its just a happy go lucky city of Starbucks and spin studios and hipster assholes. Lets weed them out.

PS – I don’t really want all the murder and homeless people back. Just the hookers and stuff.