Monkey In Spain Addicted To Porn
NYDN – Gina, a resident of the Seville Zoo in Spain, chose to solely watch adult entertainment channels when a television and remote control was placed in her enclosure. Primatologist Pablo Herreros, writing in Spanish newspaper El Mundo, claimed he made the discovery some years ago on a tour of the nation’s chimpanzee enclosures. During his research trip he conducted surveys on the behavior of the animals. Herreros wrote, “What I could never imagine were the surprises prepared for me by a female of this species called Gina who inhabited Seville Zoo.” “Due to the intense interior lives that these animals have, you have to enrich their environment to stimulate them physically and psychologically,” Herreros wrote. “These usually consist of artificial mounds, toys and other inventions that require them to be active and sharpen their wits. It is the equivalent of occupational therapy for humans.” To enliven Gina’s nights, officials apparently decided to install a television, protected behind glass, and gave her a remote control so she could change the channels herself. And enliven herself she did. “The surprise was when they found that within a few days, Gina was not only using the remote control perfectly well, but that she also used to choose the porn channel for entertainment, as many of us would have done, ” Herreros wrote. “Although a small study estimated that porn films are only watched for about 12 minutes on average, the truth is that human and non-human primates possess an intense sexual life.”
Be honest with me – how fucking shocked were you when you read this porn addicted monkey was a chick? Like what a fuckin twist huh! You see the headline about a monkey being addicted to porn and there’s nobody on this planet earth that assumed it was a female. You immediately have visions of that same monkey who pisses in his own mouth or the one who smells his finger after picking his asshole and falls out of the tree. But life throws us the ultimate curveball and it turns out its this slut Gina. Unbelievable turn of events. I’ll tell you what it is man – its that fuckin free spirited shit they promote in Europe. I bet female monkeys over in America would be watching the Oxygen Network or something. Gina would be watching some KO Barstool documentary about the plight of women and glass ceilings and sexual harassment in the work place. Female monkeys in the zoo in America would probably try to rise up and escape the zoo because they felt oppressed or something dramatic like that. But female monkeys in Spain just wanna fuck/get fucked. Just have no problem letting out their sexual being. Figured out man made technology and puts on porn and works her monkey pussy all day long. Then maybe take a little siesta, wake up and do it all again. Amen to that.
PS – This is the beginning of the end. This is how Planet of the Apes starts. One minute they figure out how to watch Brazzers and the next minute they learn how to operate weapons and machinery and then it’s curtains for the human race.
PPS – People have been making fun of me for blogging about porn so much. Well fuck you guys! This shit is primal! Its ingrained in us and the primates we evolved from. Bottom line is if you don’t like porn as much as me and this monkey slut Gina, you ain’t mentally evolved enough.