In Honor Of The RJ Hunter Signing, We Explore Other Former Celtics Who Were Terrible That We Loved Anyway

Yesterday, the Celtics brought back former 1st round pick RJ Hunter with one of their open two way contracts. Whether or not you think he’ll actually make a jump shot when he gets some action in a blowout that doesn’t really matter. This signing gave us something beautiful, and that was a job down memory lane of other former Celtics that were absolutely terrible that for some reason we loved anyway. Now this isn’t just a Celtics thing, every team in the NBA has guys who stink yet are fan favorites. But if you grew up when I did, terrible Celtics players are all you knew. I wasn’t lucky enough to be around during the 80s and see what a successful Celtics team looked like. Born in 1987, the majority of my life as a Celtics fan has been falling in love and convincing myself that guys who had no business being in the NBA would actually be good. I was certain I would never see a title in my lifetime, my fandom was born and crafted in the mud of being one of the worst teams in the entire fucking league. For a long time. So while other fanbases have their fan favorites that were terrible, there really is nothing like what the Celtics have put out during my lifetime. So I put out this tweet

and boy did the stoolies deliver. In total we had 331 responses, and going through them all was certainly a wave of emotion. I cried, I laughed, and it warmed my heart to know there are other lunatics out there. I know this blog is only relevant to a small group of people, but at the end of the day that’s all I am. I am a man of the people and a blogger who got to where he is today because of that. So please, join me down a rabbit hole of of depression that we actually believed in some of these guys. There are some true gems out there, buckle up.

Ah yes this feels like a good place to start. I was 8 when the Celtics traded for Day from the Bucks, and honestly he wasn’t that bad! Second highest career scoring average of 13.3 points thank you very much. Also, who could forget that one time against MIN where he went nuts and dropped 41 points? The Celtics went a combined 48-116 over his two years and shame on ML Carr for not starting him.

Jiri was for sure one of the more popular submissions and I have no reason to object. When he first entered our lives in the 2003-04 season and put up 9.2 points a night, you damn right we thought he was going to be the next great Celtic. He had great size at 6’7, he could awkwardly dribble with the best of them, he could play multiple positions and it was an early indication of the type of versatile player Danny Ainge loves. Did we call him the Czech Republic Larry Bird? Yup. Were we wrong? I’m not so sure.

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Another popular submission that warmed my heart. Few players made an impact on my adolesence during those 4 seasons in the early 2000s like Vitaly did. His 9/6 in his first year had me convinced that maybe the Rick Pitino era wouldn’t be so bad. Wouldn’t you know Pitino would take him out of the starting lineup after that first year and it’s just one of the many reasons I hate that man. You forget how stacked this era of Celtics basketball was with terrible bigs who we loved, and you’ll be seeing the others soon.

Here’s the thing about Krstic. Part of me hated him because the Celts gave up Perk in order to get him and Jeff Green, but here’s a conversation we all had when that trade happened.

“Hmmm you know what, he has really shown the ability to stretch the floor and knock down jumpers in OKC during his first three years. Maybe this could work”

In reality, it felt like he missed every shot that mattered, and this was the start of a time where Celtics bigs were legit allergic to rebounding.

Am I embarrassed that one of my post prized possessions is a David Wesley signed picture that I got at JCC Basketball Camp when I was 9? I sure as shit am not. I remember at the time thinking, hey, this guy is pretty small and he is dominating the NBA right now (he averaged 12.3 points that season), maybe there is hope for me! (there wasn’t). He did average 16.8 points in his last season, and now that I think of it maybe Wesley was actually too good for this exercise.

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Bill Walker! By now I was 22 years old when we really saw him breakout in 2009 so I should have known better but I couldn’t help it. His athleticism was so intriguing at the time I wanted to believe that he was going to be a sponge and being part of those good Celtics teams would make him their next great SG/SF. We thought Ainge had a steal, and he didn’t, but at the time we believed.

What a name. For me, his era in the early 90s was a little before my time in a sense of I was aware of what I was watching considering I was 3, but this fits the exercise perfectly. A Celtic career average of 1.9 points and 1.6 rebounds, I can only imagine how magical those 31 GP were in 1990.

Name a more frustrating player than Von Wafer. He summed up those lean Celtics rebuild years perfectly. In our minds, he should have been a guy who actually was useful. Such a great athlete, the potential was there. But when this sums up your Celtics tenure, maybe we were wrong with this one

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I mean look at that. It’s beautiful. Also I don’t think there was a Celtics fan out there that didn’t think they were better than Marty Conlon. Imagine believing in a team that startedhim 15 games, played him in 74 and gave him over 20 minutes a night. Perhaps that may have played a role in their 15-67 season.

Eric Williams is one of my all time irrational love Celtics. I was heartbroken when he left for Denver in 1997, and over the room when he came back in 1999. He wasn’t nearly as good in his second stint but I didn’t care. He was a main rotation player for the early 2000 Celtics and you could have convinced me he was going to be an All NBA two way player. I know none of that makes even the least bit of sense but he will always have a place in my heart even though he was extremely average at best.

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Remember in his second game during the Brad Stevens era when he had like 6 blocks or something like that? Find me a Celtics fan that didn’t think this team had their center of the future. Finally a rim protector we said! Sure he played only 37 games and was in fact not the center of the future, but we’ll always have that game against the Bucks.

You want to know where the fanboy love for Brad Stevens started? How he was this mythical point guard whisperer that could turn anyone into a serviceable player? It all starts with Jordan Crawford. How could we forget when he actually won NBA Player Of The Week? Guy couldn’t make a roster and Brad got him and turned him into a stud. I wouldn’t hate giving him a two way deal right now if we’re being honest. What a roller coaster he was.

That’s Hall Of Famer Dino Radja to you thank you very much. Almost had to disqualify him from this because he was actually good.

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I don’t know how Battie ended up playing 6 years in Boston, but I do know that I considered him one of the best centers in the league. Nothing he ever did backed that up, but you see during his run in the late 90s and early 2000s, I didn’t exactly have a large sample size of good centers. He always seemed to block everything and I think that played a huge role in my love for him, plus Pierce seemed to love him and that was good enough for me.

Yo his China numbers were ridiculous and you’re kidding yourself if you didn’t think those would translate. I think he averaged something like 30 a night over there or something close to that. Sadly, it did not translate but it could have and that’s all that mattered at the time.

Celtics fans around my age are so tortured they had to endure not 1 but 2 Mikki Moore stinks. That is way too much Mikki Moore that nobody should have to endure. Guy was 7ft and got like 3 rebounds a night. What a jerk.

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I’m not going to go as far as saying his 18 games as a Celtic were some of the best 18 games in franchise history, but I’m not exactly saying they weren’t either. Gigi was for sure a fan favorite that we all demanded he shoot every single time he touched the ball and maybe that’s because he had 49/47% splits as a Celtic. I’d welcome him back right now with open arms.

How could we not include Bill Russell 2.0? As you can tell, the Celtics have been searching for a big man for quite a while but THIS was the one that was supposed to be the real deal. This guy blocked everything, his timing the stuff of legends, and I’ll have you know he had a 8.5% BLK% in BOS which is pretty damn impressive. Sadly his Celtics career was cut short after just 55 games, but how could we forget that time against the Sixers in the playoffs when he had 3 blocks. Fucking love the Steimer.

Frankly I call bullshit that Sasha was actually good when he played with LeBron. He shot just 40% as a Celtic and I don’t think I ever saw him make a shot. Considering they weren’t fully in tank mode during his tenure, I didn’t really like him, but credit to you for blindly loving him.

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Here’s another guy that when he showed up I was excited because he was a real weapon for the Magic when they were good. He then followed that hype up with 38/33% splits proving he was not exactly the caliber of player he was in that ORL run. The worst part is he actually got burn in the playoffs during the last deep run of the Big 3 and turned in 32/22% splits. After showing up in Game 5 against the Heat to give the Celtics a 3-2 lead, he followed up the final two games going 1-6 (0-5). What an asshole.

I’m including him but I don’t like it because Scal in a champion. Prove to me they win that ring without him, you can’t.

Alright, this feels like a good place to call it because I’m getting a little emotional and I have more blogs to get to today. Hopefully this was a fun jog down memory lane for you, and if there’s one thing I know for sure it’s that Celtics fans will always find love for terrible players. You see it even today and maybe that’s why other fanbases hate us but I wouldn’t want it any other way #YABU.