Does This Look Like The Face Of A Former Illinois Congressman Who Catfished Bros With His Ex Girlfriend's Nudes On The Job

Screen Shot 2019-01-10 at 11.08.37 AMNBC Chicago - A former Illinois lawmaker was indicted by a grand jury Wednesday over accusations he disseminated private sexual images of two victims. The grand jury issued a 12-count indictment for ex-state Rep. Nick Sauer for “non-consensual dissemination of private sexual images involving two separate victims,” all of which are felonies. An investigation into Sauer began in late-July after the Illinois Legislative Inspector General informed the state’s attorney’s office of “possible criminal activities” by Sauer.  In August, a report surfaced alleging that Sauer used an ex-girlfriend’s privately shared nude photos to “catfish other men” on Instagram. Chicago police confirmed that an “obscenity report was generated by a 38-year-old victim on July 12″ in which the victim claimed that a social media account “was created using her identity and photos.” Soon after, Sauer, a GOP lawmaker representing portions of the northern suburbs, submitted his letter of resignation saying “my ability to fulfill my obligations as a State Representative and public servant will be affected by the distraction of addressing these allegations.” 

Alright I’m not trying to turn Barstool Chicago into some overnight Watch Dog blog but same time we can’t hide from these headlines. We had the Ed Burke alderman shit pop up that Eddie and I talked about on Tuesday’s Dog Walk. Ed hosted another full dive on Chicago parking scams with White Sox Dave earlier today. We’ve got endless stuff coming with the Mayoral election and now 1 out of every 4 tips is something about getting screwed by a local official. People of Chicago – we hear you loud and clear. The political scene will make you vomit hot barf and now we get to add another name to the list:

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Nick Sauer. Professional eyebrow enthusiast and proud owner of a the 4-in-hand tie knot. Catfishing dudes with his old lady’s nudes. The kind of guy that is so notably creepy at first glance that the prosecution could reasonably bypass all evidence and still have a case against Nick Sauer. Your honor he just looks like the kinda guy that would do a bunch of fucked up shit. 

Which brings me to my next point. Young guys in politics. What the FUCK are you doing? The United States has a history of young guys trying to make a difference and literally they all end up dead, in jail, knee deep in personal scandal or spending the rest of time being a human fleshlight for party bosses. You have to be a complete LUNATIC to want a piece of that limelight. And either way you slice it, always comes back to these guys actually believing their own bullshit. Like at some point Nick Sauer looked a room full of people in the eyes, made a bunch of promises and then went off to Springfield thinking he could deliver on those promises. Hey Nick. You suck just like the rest of us. Stop making promises and stop catfishing dudes.

It’s a matter of time before I get Barstool Eddie into politics. He didn’t know it at the time, but I tried to nominate Eddie for a low level County Education position but then I found out that would be Election Fraud and that’s a felony with jail time. So I passed this time but we agreed next opportunity something comes up, we’re jumping on it. If Barstool Chicago is going to work we’re going to need some political insiders and the best way to get it done is obviously by ourselves. We’re big brick by brick guys.