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With All The Dick Talk Around Here Lately I Want To Make Something Abundantly Clear--It's Okay To Talk About Nick Foles' Massive Dong

Wild Card Round - Philadelphia Eagles v Chicago Bears

So obviously the CHD girls caused quite a stir yesterday when they broke down everyone’s dick size in the office. In an act of solidarity, I am here to declare that the ceiling for my dick is average, and that’s only on my best dick days of the year as a grower. But that’s not the point of this blog. The point I’m making here is that different people will always have different opinions on when it’s acceptable to discuss meat measurements or not. And with that in mind, I am sick and tired of seeing people outside the city of Philadelphia constantly complaining about how much we, Eagles fans, attribute this team’s success to Nick Foles’ massive rod.

That’s our prerogative, okay? Don’t let anybody tell you when you can and can’t celebrate the shlong size of Nicky Folds. Because here’s the difference between the Philly fan base and the rest of the world.

When you play in Philly, you’re expected to have the heart of a champion. That’s just some baseline shit right there. When you play in Philly, you’re expected to work your ass off day in and day out. I mean we would love to celebrate Nick Foles’ character and we’d love to celebrate his work ethic to always remain ready for the biggest moments of the season. But in reality? That’s just what we expect out of him. It would be like going around celebrating that the dude breathes in oxygen. So the only thing we are really left with is the man’s humungous hog. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

All I’m saying is that other fan bases are always going to try to tear Philly down. This is the last city the world wants to see with any confidence, just ask the British. So the rest of the world is going to try to shame you into not talking about Big Dick Nick’s big dick. They’re going to say it’s bizarre how much this town is obsessed with it. They’re going to say it’s childish. But just know that regardless of what anybody says, it is 100% okay to constantly remind the world of Nick Foles’ 3rd leg if you want to. Because that’s your prerogative and you’ve earned that right as a fan. But make sure if Nick Foles ever has a son, you just leave that one alone.