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The Man That Took Down El Chapo? The Cartel's IT Guy.


NY POST - The secret to bringing down a notorious Mexican cartel kingpin? His IT guy.

Jurors in the trial of Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman on Tuesday listened to damning phone calls of the diminutive drug lord running his cocaine empire — because the FBI successfully flipped his Sinaloa Cartel’s tech guru.

Prosecutors say they caught the elusive El Chapo on tape between 100 and 200 times, and wiretapped some 800 calls after the cartel’s in-house geek Cristian Rodriguez helped them decode its encrypted computer system.

Fucking IT guys. Such an IT guy move.  IT guys are ALWAYS the ones you have to look out for. They’re smarter than you, they know more about everyone in the company than anyone else in the company.  They always have that smug look on their face that says “I’ve read all your emails and seen your entire search history” without actually saying it.  They know that you were on “that” website last night at 1:30 AM and accessed 7-9 streaming videos for approximately 25 minutes followed by an abrupt closing of your computer screen, and they snicker at the idea of your “incognito window.”  They have all the dirt they need should anything ever happen to them.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times – if there is one group of people that you should never under any circumstances talk shit about, it’s the guys who know how to hack computers. The guys who can pull up 10 monitors of that weird black screen with lime green code scrolling down it like in Swordfish.

Those are the scariest motherfuckers on the planet.  I’d rather write a scathing takedown of ISIS than mess with hackers.  Anonymous basically had a free pass for as long as they were hot.  Chapo should have taken my advice and been a little nicer to his IT nerd, or at the very least let Cholo Ivan “visit” him when they were done with him.

In multiple calls played to the court, a man identified as Chapo could be heard lambasting standover man Orso Ivan Gastelum Cruz — better known as “Cholo Ivan” — for beating up cops.

“Talk to them, you know they are policemen. It’s better not to smack them around,” he says in one.

“Why don’t they ask for permission, the bastards,” Cruz whines, then later boasts: “I kicked their asses.”

Chapo again warns him to “take it easy with the police.”

“Well you taught us to be a wolf,” Cruz responds. “I’m remembering, that’s how I like to do it.”

Keep your friends close, keep the IT Guy as close as fucking possible.