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Move Over Oompa Loompas...4 Smurfs Arrested For Assault

Huff Po - Four men dressed as Smurfs were arrested in Australia Tuesday after authorities called for the costumed men to come forward in connection with a Dec. 16 assault at a convenience store. According to the Age, the men, with skin painted blue like the fictional characters from the cartoon, allegedly assaulted a 37-year-old man at a Melbourne convenience store when he reportedly refused to light a cigarette he offered to one of the “Smurfs.” The unidentified victim passed out in a car and only recalled the incident upon waking, a police spokeswoman said, the Herald Sun notes. After a public appeal from authorities seeking vital information in the case, the four men — aged between 18 and 19 — turned themselves into the police. Since then, the Smurfs have been released, but they are expected to be charged with offenses relating to the assault. Camera footage from the convenience store (featured above) shows the Smurfs moments before the alleged assault took place.

We got fuckin Oompa Loompas on the lose in England beating people up. Smurfs in Australia. I’m waiting for the Keibler Elves and the Munchkins of Oz to start raping bitches next.

How about this dude getting beat up by Smurfs, passes out in his car, and in the morning reports it to the police. I’ll tell you what right now – if I ever wake up in my car and I have visions of me getting beat up by Smurfs the first place I’m going is the fucking Betty Ford Clinic, not the police. Thats gotta be the most serious “What the fuck did I do last night?” moment I’ve ever heard of. Even if I thought there was a chance thats what really happened, I’m heading to the diner with a hangover and sweeping that one under the rug. Lets close that door and move on.

PS – If you offer someone a cigarette and then don’t light it for them, you deserve to get your ass beat.

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