So Apparently They've Found My Long Lost Sister?

Ha! Look at that noggin’! Must be tough living life with your head having it’s own gravitational pull. I don’t mean to be facial profiling but there’s no way I would associate myself with anyone who looks like they’re the result of Hey Arnold fucking a pumpkin.

If we are siblings it’s good we didn’t grow up together in the same household. Our entire childhood would’ve been a battle butting heads like bighorn sheep until only one was left standing. No way both of us would’ve made it into adulthood. And that’s if she is my sister. If not we might have to get together and create an army of children worthy of Easter Island. Bet she gives good jaw, too.

Eh, I suppose we may be related. At least it would probably explain this holiday photo. A damn shame Matt Stafford and Haley Joel Osment weren’t in town to join the family.

h/t StoolMilmore