Skip Bayless Was So Jacked Up About The Cowboys Win He Couldn't Even Pee

We all celebrate wins in different ways. Some of us induldge in libations. Others do mountains of cocaine. Skip Bayless cracks open a room temperature Diet Coke and holds his pee inside his iron bladder to brag and boast about it to the entire world. And I can’t help but sit back, respect it, and take notes. Because we’re in the take business folks and Skip is at the top of Take Mountain. We’re all grinding day-in, day-out to one day have Skip’s job and bank account. And the thing that has been holding me and apparently others back is one thing: our weak ass bladders.

Can you go 12 hours without taking a leak? That shit aint easy. Matt Harvey tried to train his bladder to be half as strong as Skip’s and it nearly cost him his life. Meanwhile Skip just calls that Friday night. But if you’re trying to dominate the take industry and you’re out here wasting time in the bathroom, you’re already at a massive disadvantage to the GOAT. You’ll hear a lot of pro athletes talk about “no days off” and “first one in last to leave” types of mentalities that took them to the summit of their professions and that seems to be the same lead by example mantra Skip is preaching to the rest of us. Imagine this guy’s stream? 4K Ultra HD crystal clear with the power of a fire hose for his one trip to the bathroom a day. Shit must bounce off the porcelain like a Russell Westbrook rogue three point attempt.

Just when I think Skip and Stephen A. can’t top any of their prior legendary moments one of them comes out a drops a haymaker from the clouds like this and leaves me in a daze. Truly the Magic and Bird of our time and there’s nothing we can do but sit back and marvel at their respective greatness.