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ZION!!!!!!

Mother of God. I thought Zion’s ridiculous highlights would dry up a bit once he went from playing against 5’5″ scared white kids to D1 college hoops. Nope, he’s still pulling Dunk Contest quality 360s out during games as a 285 pound monster like it’s no big deal and has damn near made Duke likable (at least to me despite hating Duke my entire life since I am infatuated with the thought of Zion in orange and blue). And before people ask the classic “Where are the highlights of his jumper” question like a bunch of fucking nerds, here is your answer.

The Knicks front office better do everything in their power to not win another game for the rest of the season. Trade Tim Hardaway Jr. by midnight, tell Kevin Knox to take a few months off, and don’t allow Kristaps Porzingis to even look at a basketball court until after the lottery. New York deserves to have two MonStars like Zion and Saquon after the shit we’ve been through the last few years.

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NOW HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC!!!