Kick Off The NFL Playoffs By Watching The Best Blindside Hit You Will See All Weekend

That kid got…

*Turns on Chris Berman voice*

JACKED UP!!!

I’ll admit that I thought this video was going in a completely different direction after reading the caption. Like a usedcondomfish washing ashore and the kid playing with it before his parents realized what it was or something like that. Nope, just a dog with the fastest 1st, 2nd, and 3rd steps in the world throwing this toddler into the blue medical tent. Khalil Mack ain’t got shit on that pooch. That dog was so fast, I don’t think the dad will even get thrown in the doghouse (sick pun, Clem) by his wife for allowing his kid to get laid out like Eli Manning. Lil man had the entire Paw Patrol on his body and even they couldn’t stop him from getting hit tits lit. I think/hope everyone involved is okay since getting hit on the beach somehow makes everything hurt exactly 66.66666% less. I don’t know how that’s possible, but the wipeouts I have walked away from in the ocean will forever blow my mind.

UPDATE: Just got alerted by a Stoolie named Geordie to watch this in slow motion to be amazed. And wouldn’t you know it, he’s right.

That kid was mollywhopped by not one but TWO pooches with the fastest 1st, 2nd, and 3rd steps in the world. The JJ Watt and Jadeveon Clowney of canines. That poor little son of a bitch never stood a chance despite having the Paw Patrol as lookout. I bet those dogs just wander the beach wild, looking for the next kid to upend so they can go viral. And to be honest, it’s not the worst life in the world.