All Women Are So Goddamn Good At Arguing It's Amazing

So Trent blogged this clip this morning and it’s 10/10. I’ve never seen an episode of The Bachelor because I don’t particularly care for reality tv, which also surprises people on account of my litany of other stereotypically girly/homosexual tendencies, but this clip itself is like the best episode of television I’ve ever seen. It’s got buildup, love interests, a big twist, it’s just great.

But what really stuck out to me is how good Bri was at lying. Look at this exchange right here

“Where are you from?”

“The accent? It’s Australian.”

That is next level shit and makes me think that all women are born lawyers. It’s not exactly news to anyone but they know how to twist words and phrases and shit so perfectly that it leaves me in awe. Because guess what, while I commended Bri’s ability to lie she never actually lied, and you know when she’s confronted about this she’s going to say “I never said *I* was Australian I said the *accent* was Australian honestly I don’t even understand how you’re mad right now.” And if she dropped that on me? I’d be so impressed I’d just say you know what, you’re right, I’m sorry for misinterpreting the Australian accent you were faking.

There’s no doubt in my mind that she planned that out, that she knew at some point this act would come back to bite her in the ass, and she’s got the perfect card to play. Men, or at least me, we live in the now. I say whatever it takes to get me out of the current situation and will deal with the backlash later. Women are calculated, they save phrases and leave backdoors open and know that all these escape plans will be important in the future. It’s chess to them, it’s tic tac toe to me, and that’s why I will always lose.