Does This Look Like the Face of Someone Who Pulled the Old Fake Bomb Trick in a Store?

Does This Look

SourceA woman is guilty of threatening to blow up a 7-Eleven store in Virginia Beach after pleading no contest.

A spokesperson for the City of Virginia Beach said Crystal Mostek entered the plea in a hearing on Jan. 2.

Mostek, 33, was charged following an April 2018 incident in which authorities said she walked into a store on Pleasure House Road, placed a device on the counter and told the clerk it was a bomb.

A Virginia Beach Fire Department spokesperson said Mostek threatened to blow up the store. It was later determined the device was not a bomb.

For starters, threatening a 7-Eleven with a bomb, real or otherwise, is no laughing matter. 7-Elevens are meant to be a safe haven. A place of community where people of all demographics can come together. Where the poor can blow their meager earnings on scratchies next to the morbidly obese eating microwave burritos alongside stoners sucking dry a one-pound bag of Doritos as equals. So I condemn in the strongest possible terms Crystal Mostek for disturbing the peace in this way.

And ordinarily I might say the clerk overreacted, but not in this case. If say, a guy who looks like Mitt Romney dropped some Bluetooth speaker or whatever on the counter claiming it was a bomb, you call that bluff 100 percent of the time. But in Crystal’s case? I’d say the only surprising thing is that it wasn’t, in fact, a bomb. Seriously, this clerk dodged a bullet on this one, proverbial or otherwise. I just always assumed once you’ve gone with the cheek tattoo, the row of teardrops and the red dot/third eye on your forehead, they just throw in an incendiary device for free. Any day a lady like her doesn’t blow up a convenient store for no reason is a good day.

Then again, maybe I’m just stereotyping. But I don’t think so. We’ve seen her type before.

So do the right thing, Virginia Beach. Throw her in, slam the door, and break the key off in the lock. Thank you in advance.