NYC Opens Kids Only Yoga Studios

Daily Mail – For centuries Yoga has primarily been viewed as an adults-only practice. But now, children as young as two are learning the terms down dog and shavasana in a growing trend of kids-only yoga studios. Yoga is the fastest-growing form of exercise in America, with approximately 20 million people practicing – and an increasing number of those practitioners are toddlers to teenagers. Liz Eustace, CEO of online yoga community, Alignyo, told ABC News: ‘The things that benefit an adult will also benefit a child. Stress reduction, mind-body connection, physical strength – these are things that benefit kids as well as adults.’ Gail Tobias, whose daughter attends YogiBeans, a children-only studio on New York City, explained: ‘My daughter’s in third grade. There’s an abundance of homework already. After she’s done with the class I find she’s much more eager to go home and sit and do her homework and be more focused.’ A young girl in a six to nine-year-old YogiBean class commented: ‘It clears your mind off something that’s really bothering you.’ And a boy in the same class agreed that yoga helps him forget what’s bothering him.  ‘After class is over it seems like I’m not so worried about my problems as when I was in school,’ he said.  ‘Like when I’m here I’m not thinking about oh how much homework do I have, or what do I have to do, what do I have to not do.’

Now listen I used to go to Gymboree when I was a kid. Used to do somersaults and play with the giant rainbow colored parachute. That was fucking awesome getting inside that big parachute bubble tent. In reality theres probably not much different between that shit and this Yoga garbage. But fuck this. Fuck these parents who think their kids need yoga. And fuck these kids who think they need yoga. Take one look at this little motherfucker:

You think this idiot is stressed? What could he possibly be stressed about? “After class is over it seems like I’m not so worried about my problems as when I was in school.” What problems do you have? Only thing you gotta be worried about is not shitting your pants in school dude. That, and maybe worry about the fact that while all the other boys are outside climbing trees, building forts, and playing with guns, you’re doing downward dog with all the soon-to-be-gay kids and ugly chicks. Don’t be mad when the kid who runs a 6 minute mile and gets the Presidential Award in gym class gets his first hand job while you’re wearing Lululemon pants talking about the Warrior Pose at the girls lunch table.