ICYMI: Ninja Attempting To Get People At Times Square On NYE To "Floss" Was Just About The Most Awkward Thing Ever
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Awkwardddddddddd. Excuse me for the delay on this, but after spending 16+ hours in my father-in-law’s unbearable cummerbund at Ninja’s little NYE event, I’ve basically just mentally started 2019. Look, people who are willingly at Times Square on NYE are the definition of BATSHIT. Standing around for 12+ hours in advertised Planet Fitness top hats to maybe, just maybe get a second of TV time on the most cringe-worthy broadcast of the year is insanity. To do it in the freezing rain is certifiable. These crazies will only go nuts for the likes of Carrie Underwood for a song or Ryan Seacrest pretending to think their lives aren’t worthless. A red-headed Gumby trying to get them to do an already awkward dance to zero music whatsoever? Yeah, not so much.
The phrase “Cringa” gets thrown around from time to time for Ninja,but what else was he supposed to do? The dude was just told to go out there on stage and Floss his balls off. No more, no less. Nobody thought it would be the biggest planned disaster since Gallipoli, but so be it. And did I just compare a Fortnite gamer dancing on stage to one of the biggest disasters in WWI. You’re Goddamn right I did. I guess Ninja is just gonna have to live with being one of the nicest and most genuine famous people on Earth to go along with his millions of dollars while playing video games for a living. So be it, again.
More on our NYE night before and after this flossing escapade later. Clocktowers shall fall.