There's Apparently A Dom Brown Dick Pic Floating Around And No I Don't Want To See It

READER EMAIL 1: Dom brown dick pic

Yo smitty, It may have been sent to you already, and I know barstool isn’t i=
n the business of posting dick pics, but I can say with almost certainty I h=
ave a picture of dom brown hanging dong. He is playing terrible so I figured=
there’s a chance you’d want it. Though I’m sure you guys get these all the t=
ime thanks to tinder. It sounds unlikely but a friend of a friend got matche=
d up with him on tinder. I didn’t believe it but the tattoos match up. Let m=
e know if you want it, otherwise I’ll just feel gay sending out dick pics. N=
ot that there’s anything wrong with that.

READER EMAIL 2: dominic brown dick pick

thar she grows

READER EMAIL 3: Dom Brown’s Genitals

Good Day,

I was recently forwarded a picture of Phillies Dominic Brown’s penis. Let me know if you are interested and maybe we can work something out.

Regards,

James

First thing’s first, anyone who shops around pictures of genitalia for profit and uses phrases such as “Good Day” and “Regards” needs to leave the cube and have a conversation with a human once in awhile. We’re dealing with dicks here, not job opportunities.

But onto the matter at hand, no I do not want to see or purchase the picture you have claiming to be the Phillies’ left fielder’s hog. What are we in the business of posting dicks on this site? Sans a howitzer growing off a minor of a Super Bowl winner, no thank you. It’s Dom Brown. The guy stinks. Unless the thing can walk on it’s hind legs and sing a show tune then sorry, I could care less. He doesn’t deserve to have his dong scrutinized by the media. Chase Utley’s codpiece? We’ll consider it. The lawsuit may be worth the pageviews from every single female and sexually confused male in the Tri-State area. But unless you’re batting well above the fucking Mendoza Line, no part of you deserves any extra recognition. Case closed.

PS – Reading “Thar she grows” before seeing a picture of a massive black hammer right in my face didn’t disturb me as much as it should. Might be time to pack it in with this Internet thing.