The Bar Has Been Raised For Halftime Acts Everywhere Thanks To One Man

The Pacers capped off 2018 with one of the most enthralling performances to date by hiring professional “Simon Sez” caller Steve Max. I judged Steve Max on two major criteria for being a halftime act, Showmanship and Danger. (Full Video Directly Below)

 (This is not to be confused with the 1999 box office bomb with Dennis Rodman, Dane Cook, and John Pinette called Simon Sez.  Steve Max could be looking at a cease and desist in 2019 … Happy New Year.) 

I’m unsure where Steve Max came from, but my guess is he was born in a remote government lab in the midwest where they make human avatars born to entertain; like Tom Cruise. Somewhere, someone in a white lab coat genetically spliced the DNA of Bob Odenkirk from Breaking Bad and Todd Chrisley from USA Network to create a flamboyant professional smart ass born to entertain the masses at halftime shows and corporate events around the country.

Showmanship:

Steve Max knows how to have the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. Not only did he keep the crowd on the edge of their seats, but Max even got every security guard on the floor interested in the show. If you have people willing to get fired because you’re so entertaining … you’re doing something right.

In the future, younger generations will look for “The Greatest Showman” on Netflix-Taco Bell (they merged) and get confused when the 2017 film with Hugh Jackman comes up, because by that point in time countless movies and docu-series will have been made about Steve Max being the greatest showman we’ve ever seen.

One of the few mistakes Max made was giving the kid who mixed up his right and left hand a break. Max had the crowd wrapped around his finger, and was completely in this kids head.  Instead, Max showed weakness and let the crowd know that deep down he is a good guy who has feelings. A Showman never lets emotions get in the way of a performance.

Danger:

While there is no physical danger, the threat of Steve Max picking out a verbal one liner body bag for you is real. I laugh every time he calls the kids Mr. Red Head, Mr. Guy, and I belly laughed when he called the kid Mr. Humongous at the beginning.

The Pacemates and the “older sister” (smooth line) learned that Steve Max is the And 1 Mixtape of Simon Says. If he singles you out to go one-on-one, you’re about to get crossed over like a Hot Sauce highlight. 

I could have done without the weird dance off at center court to end the show. There should be a clear cut winner, but after Steve Max shouted out Indy and said that Pacers’ fans were the best in the nation I’d already forgotten about the weird ending because Pandering is the true mark of a showman. This show gets a 8.9/10 and Simon Says is now my favorite childhood game turned halftime show, or at least until Red Rover gets introduced.

Sidenote:

If Steve Max doesn’t say “Simon Says this is for you” while he is having sex like he does during the show, he’s not the all around Showman I thought he was.