This New Invention That Unclogs Toilets Seems Great Until You Actually Have To Use It

Ah, a seemingly perfect invention and execution to the unassuming eye, no? But then we forget the reality of the situation.

Picture this: You’re fresh off a drunk Taco Bell binge at 2am and are forced to declare war on the toilet. It’s obvious you’re not sending in the infantry but most likely both a Fat Boy and Little Man to end it quickly. After using enough toilet paper to soak up the Nile, you admire the damage with a Snapchat, then flush away the memories. Suddenly, you hear that unmistakable gurgle and see the dirty water of death rising at a rapid rate. Do you think you’ll have enough time, effort and cognitive abilities to wipe away the seat and attach this literal shit sticker before you’re overtaken by this river of darkness?

NOPE. I can’t even put on my socks the right way half the time. There’s no way I’d be able to attach this thing to the toilet before I get a face full of feces. That’s assuming it works as advertised. Call me skeptical but I doubt giving CPR to the shitter is going to tame that brown geyser from hell. You attempt to use this and you’ll be up shit’s creek without a paddle along side Rueben Feffer 100 out of 100 times.

RIP Sandy Lyle.