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Why Are There No Sports On TV Today? I Need Answers!

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I’m upset. It’s Christmas Eve, I’m sitting in bed, and I’m not watching any sports. I’m watching ‘Happy Death Day’ on Cinemax for the 5th time this month (this movie is just on 24/7). You know why? Because it’s the day before Christmas and nothing is on television. NOTHING! How on Earth is there not a day time college basketball tournament happening? Where are one of the 40+ bowl games? What is happening? Last year Fresno State and Houston played in the Hawaii Bowl on this day. Well what the hell caused that to change? I thought the worst sports day of the year was in mid-July when the ESPYs happen, but nope it’s today. The difference is most of us have off of work, unlike in July, so we’re sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do right now. The only thing we have to look forward to is Monday Night Football featuring the Oakland Raiders and the Denver Broncos, two teams that have absolutely nothing to play for. Exciting!

Who is to blame? It’s Mark Emmert. Mark Emmert is the goddamn grinch and is robbing us of joy right now. It’s 2:40 PM and I’m staring at the clock. This is disgusting. The holiday spirit is all about giving, whether that be gifts to friends/families, donations to charity, or all my money to my bookie. Just let me give! People will probably say oh you should be using this time to Christmas shop for your family. Well, I did that last night before the Seahawks/Chiefs game so there goes that. No, I don’t have a girlfriend to waste the time with, have you seen my hair? Should I just go to the mall and walk around? Maybe give myself an excuse to get some Auntie Anne’s? I might have to.

P.S. Hey Manny Machado, if you want to announce your signing with the Yankees and get everyone talking about you now is the time.

For taking the time to click on this blog, here is an hour of the best moments from Curb as a token of my gratitude.