What the FUCK was that Zion? I know our owner is a gigantic kazoo playing clown shoe and the Knicks have been a fucking disaster for almost two full decades. But did you really have to laugh in our fucking faces for a question you had to know was coming the minute you saw this game on the schedule? A few months ago I realized hating Duke with every fiber of my being was going to be impossible this year because I didn’t want to hate a stud that could become a Knick. So I pulled a Coach K and temporarily “stepped away” from a shitty situation by quietly pumping my fists after every Zion dunk only to get hit with this. Another rock bottom moment for a fan that has become numb to them at this point.
Wait what was that?
Meh, that could just be a carefully crafted PR answer. I’ll take the live reaction to the question when there is a camera in Zion’s face.
Oh, there’s more?
*Knicks fan spinzone brain kicks in*
See I KNEW Zion wanted to play for the Knicks. It’s The Mecca! As I’ve been told my entire life, every great basketball player wants to play here even if none of them actually sign here. Zion was clearly just being bashful about playing for the Knicks because he is a kid from a small town visiting the big city and felt awkward because the Knicks are clearly RJ Barrett’s dream destination. If you think about it, Zion reacted exactly the way you would react if you heard the girl your buddy was crushing on liked you instead. Cover your face, laugh it off, and make it be known that he likes her. Way to throw everyone off the scent, Zion. You are going to love playing here with KD, KP, and our team of young, exciting players for Coach Fiz. If Adam Silver has a brain in his head, he will fix the lottery and make sure the Knicks land Zion so they can become contenders for the foreseeable future alongside Boston, Philly, LA, and Golden State AKA David Stern’s wet dream. #PhotoshopSZN is here!
*Gonna make sure I save this one for when the Knicks finish outside the Top 3 in the lottery, draft some Euro, and I convince myself Zion will sign here in the summer of 2024
P.S. I’ll never get used to Zion’s voice sounding anything different than Deebo’s voice.